Iowa’s Long Island Iced Tea Party

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Long Island Iced Tea has no tea in it.  It does, though contain other liquids.

1 oz vodka
1 oz tequila
1 oz rum
1 oz gin
1.5  ozs triple sec
1.5 ozs sweet and sour mix
1 splash Coke

I suspect this explains why the Tea Party “patriots” act like punch drunk dufuses.  They’re not drinking tea, they’re bombed on Long Island Iced Tea!

They’re drunk!

Nothing else explains the increasingly hilarious situation in Iowa.  Granted, if I were Sarah Palin, there is no way in Hades I would appear in the same state, let alone the same function, as Giggles “I Am Not a Witch” O’Donnell.   No one in their right mind would.

Memeorandum

It is just way too funny.

Please, pardon The Pink Flamingo, I am enjoying the sight of the (Long Island Iced) Tea Party implosion.  It couldn’t happen to a better bunch of people.

I suspect it is also signaling the beginning of the end for tea party dominance.

 Reading the tea leaves?

Evidently Lindsey has been appearing at tea party town halls in the middle of the Lion’s Den. The Hate Lindsey Graham crowd, who delighted in attacking him, were not well represented.

“...But after two years, a hugely successful midterm election, and almost a year of GOP control of the House of Representatives, Tea Party activists here and across the country seem to be losing some of their steam.

Gone is the white-hot rage that famously defined the town hall meetings of August 2009 and sent incumbents from both parties packing a year later.

In its place is much of what met Graham at a half-empty Tea Party town hall in North Charleston earlier this week: lingering frustration and continued anger with Washington, but a growing realization within the upstart movement that sustaining a revolution is harder than starting it—and that merely electing conservatives doesn’t guarantee they’ll buck the system they promised to overthrow….”

The Daily Beast

In New Hampshire, the GOP is suffering from a very fine mess, thank to the tea parties.  From August 29 WSJs Political Diary.

“…New Hampshire should be one of the higher-profile battlegrounds in 2012, but the Granite State GOP is spending 2011 engaged in a bloody civil war. The intra-party conflict centers on new Chairman Jack Kimball, who might soon be the old chairman if most Republican leaders get their way. Mr. Kimball, however, refuses to go quietly.

On the strength of tea party support, Mr. Kimball defeated an establishment-favored candidate last January, but his leadership since then has proven lacking. Fundraising, in particular, has been a critical weakness, and the state party is now nearly broke. Mr. Kimball has also taken flack for a string of personnel problems, as well as for signing a petition (which he claims he misunderstood) to let the Libertarian Party on the ballot in the state.

Republicans in New Hampshire have had enough. Key GOP elders urged Mr. Kimball behind-the-scenes to resign, but that quickly spilled out into public, and Mr. Kimball responded by telling the Boston Globe that the Republican Governors Association had offered to give the state party $100,000 if he quit. That didn’t exactly make his problems go away. Now, 22 of the 36 members of the state GOP executive committee — including New Hampshire’s entire GOP congressional delegation, as well as the leaders of the state House and Senate — have called for a Sept. 1 meeting to remove Mr. Kimball. “To ensure that all of the party’s energy and resources are solely focused on electing Republicans, we believe it is time to move beyond this serious distraction,” they said in a statement.

Despite the fact that a majority of committee members want his head, Mr. Kimball has remained defiant. “I represent a movement — a political movement — much larger than myself,” he told the Union Leader. “If I am voted out, it is going to cause a fissure in this party that is going to open a wound that isn’t going to heal real soon. This is the worst possible thing to happen at the worst possible time with the first in the nation primary coming up.”…”

The Pink Flamingo hears even the tea parties have had enough of Kimball, who resigned Thursday.  This leads one to make one of several assumptions.

  1. The Tea Party “patriots” are finally starting to sober up a little
  2. They are so “drunk” they don’t know what they are doing
  3. They’ve passed out, and are no longer a problem
  4. Their addiction to the Long Island Iced Tea version is now epic

The Pink Flamingo would like to propose a twelve step program for tea partiers who are now ready to rejoin the real world.

  1. They must admit they are powerless when it comes to the TPs, which have ruined their lives
  2. Realize there is a power greater than Ayn Rand
  3. Make a decision to renounce Ron Paul and become normal Republicans
  4. Attempt a moral inventory of the futility of the tea parties
  5. Admit they are wrong, that libertarians have no real future in politics
  6. Ask the GOP to help re-educate and improve their political character
  7. Remove Ron Paul from their lives
  8. Make a list of good Republicans they have harmed and destroyed
  9. Make amends by supporting normal Republican candidates and elected officials
  10. Continually admit they were wrong in the Ding-bat candidates they supported
  11. Use rational thought and normal Republicans like Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush as their political guides
  12. Have a political re-awakening via the GOP

I suspect that those of us who are NORMAL Republicans should be required to reach out and help those in the tea parties who have seen the light and wish to rejoin the ranks of the GOP.  If this is the case, we should be willing to help them.  I know this will be difficult, but it is the only way forward.  After all, if they are willing to admit they are wrong, and have wronged the nation as a whole, I am willing to sponsor their re-emergence into the light.

Nah, it’s not going to happen.

With luck, these people will be like the drugged out hippies many of them once were.  They will either drop out of the political scene or evolve into normal people.  Knowing what I do of the past, I am not hopeful.  Ron Paul tea party stupidity is a serious addiction.  The poor creatures who worship him are truly addicted.  I suspect even the most serious intervention will help them.  With luck they will simply evolve into Trekkies and be essentially harmless.

I know, I have a rich fantasy life.

Seriously, I suspect the tea parties have seen their best days.  Like all movements based on anger and protest, they are doomed, perhaps not to fail, but to fade as anger and ire fails.   I have a feeling they will go the way of the Luddites.  If you don’t know who they were, look it up, as my mother would tell my sister and I when we asked for her to spell a word for us.

 

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2 thoughts on “Iowa’s Long Island Iced Tea Party

  1. This is great! Never thought about what might be spiking the tea, I think you are onto something.

    Once again I must reflect that Lindsey Graham would make a fantastic president. Hey, we are in fantasy mode here so I am allowed.

    I love your 12 steps, heavy on self flagellation for RPaulians.

    What will Fox do without the Tea Party?

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