The Great Conservative Perfect Family Lie


There are no perfect families.  Show me a person who says that their family is perfect and I will show you someone who is in abject denial of the truth.

On Saturday evening, the GOP wannabes attempted to pile on Newt Gingrich because he has been married three times, etc. Guess what, aside from a few self-righteous types, no one really cares.  If my mother, the stickler doesn’t care, then so what? Then again, years ago, she and her older sister were listing the marriages and divorces on their father’s side of the family.  Divorces outnumbered my grandfather’s siblings and the next generation almost three to one.  Of the ten grandchildren on my mother’s side of the family, there have been six divorces. My mother’s brother has been divorced three times. The gays and lesbians have not been added into the count.

There has been one murder.  Adding the great-grandchildren in with the grandchildren there have been at least rehab stints, an eating disorder, two drug problems, 1 molestation (me) and one rape. One cousin has disappeared.  She has had at least 3 abortions (that we know of) and at least 2 children born out of wedlock.  One cousin ran afoul of the ATF (long story that one). My grandparents were known for their “perfect family”, then everyone grew up and there was no longer any perfection.

On my father’s side of the family, also the “perfect family”, I have no idea how many divorces there have been.  He had a 2nd cousin who was a common street prostitute in Minneapolis.  His side is looking at about a 50% divorce rate, also.

These are good, normal, Christian families, Republican and conservative.  There was a tradition of church-going, family honor, respect, and all that stuff.  But – life happens.

I know someone who came from the ultimate perfect family, wealthy, well educated, church going.  Her father molested her.  Her mother became a drunk to avoid reality.  Evidently incest was somewhere in the family.  At least two of her cousins committed suicide.  On the other side, there was serious drug abuse – again, in a perfect family.

I know of another perfect family, with 25 years of marriage.  They were well educated, wealthy, always church-going.  Even before that marriage ended, one of the offspring began drinking and cutting.  They ended up in rehab after the divorce.

There is another perfect family I know, this one with twenty years of marriage. They were well educated, she has a Ph.D.  He is a physician.  They were wealthy, church going, new house, status in the community.  He left his wife for a mid-life crises, after harassing and verbally abusing his daughter until she was suicidal, alcoholic, and cutting herself.  She nearly died of an eating disorder.  His son is now quite screwed up.  He remarried and disappeared with his new wife and her children.  She was having an affair.  He hired a detective to follow her.  She could not afford the attorney he could.  She received nothing.  The children received nothing.  He’s worth a fortune.

Do you want me to continue?

Statistics don’t lie.  Today, if you know two friends who are getting married, one of them will have a marriage that ends in divorce. It is that simple.

  • 45% – 50% of all first marriages end in divorce
  • 60% – 67% of all second marriages end in divorce
  • 70%-73% of all third marriages end in divorce.
  • 40% of divorcing couples have children
  • 66% of divorcing couples do not have children.
Time Magazine

To listen to the Republican candidates wax poetic about their perfect homes, perfect families, and no divorce is disgusting.  There is no reality to the picture. If there is on heart-break in their family, no divorce, no infidelity, it is because they are either very fortunate or lying to themselves.  If not now, then one of these days, they will be slapped in the face with reality.   We don’t see what goes behind closed doors.  We only see the rank hypocrisy.

“…Just as deft was his handling of the one of his biggest problems: his troubled personal life. Though many of his competitors claimed that character was an issue with Rick Perry going so far as to assert that anyone who would cheat on his wife would cheat on a business partner, Gingrich was able to return serve even on this sore point. He did so by admitting he’d made mistakes and saying he’s asked God to forgive him. The implication was that if God could forgive him, where does anyone else get off having a problem with it?…”

The Hill

The Pink Flamingo once considered supporting Rick Perry.  It is remarks like this that caused me to reconsider, that and his association with religious “leaders” I find reprehensible.

“…“I’ve always been of the opinion that if you cheat on your wife you’ll cheat on your business partner, so I think that issue of fidelity is important,” Perry said. “It’s a characteristic of which people look at other individuals, whether it’s in their business lives, or in their personal lives, or picking someone to serve in public office for them.” …“I think that sends a very powerful message – if you will cheat on your wife, if you will cheat on your spouse, then why wouldn’t you cheat on your business partner, or why wouldn’t you cheat on anybody for that matter.”…”

What I find quite ironic is the fact that these alleged Christians don’t seem to remember one of the great stories about Christ.  It’s about casting the first stone – you shouldn’t do it unless you have no sin in your life.

Frankly, I would rather hang out with the sinner than the saint.  The sinner is honest.  The saint is lying to him/herself. The real problem here is the fact that we are dealing with men and women who are so anxious to become President they have tossed aside any pretext of human decency, compassion, and honor.

Yea, I’ll hang with the sinner. The sinner knows about Christ’s forgiveness and compassion and love.  With the others, I suspect their relationships with Christ are all talk and no forgive.  Once you forgive and  have compassion, you don’t rub someone’s sin in their face.  You don’t keep bringing up a person’s failings when they have said they have repented and asked forgiveness from their Lord and Savior.  Oh, you can, but if you claim to know that very same Lord and Savior, you are not helping yourself, not one little bit.

P. S.  Rick Perry says if you cheat on your wife, you’ll cheat on your business partner.  My father’s business partner was an infamous womanizer.  He never once cheated on his business partner.