Introducing & Reintroducing Mitt to the Country

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You need to be living in a bubble – a bubble gum vending machine – not to know that Monday night was all about reintroducing Mitt Romney to a nation who just isn’t bright enough to know and love his perfection the way his perfect family and perfect wife knows and worships him.

[NOTE:  When I refer to Mitt Romney as Mr. Perfect, and use the “perfect” epitaph to describe he and his family, The Pink Flamingo is being sarcastic.]

Why does Mitt Romney need to be introduced to the American voter – now?  He’s been running for POTUS since 2008.  He’s been front and center on the news for well over a year.  Anyone who doesn’t know who Mr. Perfect with his perfect gene pool, his perfect sons, his perfect hair, his perfect life, and his perfect wife is not going to be voting, so why even bother.  He is a known individual.  A simple Google search of “Mitt Romney” reveals 784,000,000 results.

This is a man who needs no introduction.  So, why are his supporters salivating, describing how he must be introduced and reintroduced to the country?

Could it be the fact that only 40% of the American people have a favorable view of him?  That’s a scant 5% above bare political minimum of 34%.  Barack Obama has an liability rating that is 10% higher, at 50% – the BINGO, magic number.

Is it possible the more We the Little People see of Mr. Perfect the less perfect he appears?  Right now about 70% of Republicans say they are going to vote for him.  So, why does he need to be reintroduced?

What little bug-a-boo is hiding in those internals?

Why on earth do the American People need to be reintroduced to this man?

What are we missing?

Is he less than perfect?
Does he leave the toilet seat up when the pees?
Does he throw his sacred undies around for his tragically ill wife to pick up after him?
Does he drink milk direct from the carton?
Does he sneak a Coke once in awhile?
Does he have that secret Mormon addiction to candy?
Is he a closet Trekkie?
Does he sneak around and read trashy romance novels like some men do?
Does he have belching contests with the fam?
Or does he have a hidden requirement to use Beeno when he eats pinto beans?
Maybe he buys lottery tickets.
Is he hooked on General Hospital?
Maybe he’s a Gear Head.

What’s the deal here?  This is a man who literally needs no introduction.  Something is lurking within the bowels of those internals that is terrifying the far right, and those people who have cast their all with Mr. Perfect.  Let’s be brutally honest here.  If I were voting for this man, and I am not, I would be very concerned right about now.  You don’t go out, discussing reintroducing a Presidential nominee to the country unless something is very very wrong.

Politics is a dirty game.  You must define yourself or your candidate before someone else does it for you. Within the conservative world, people have sacrificed everything to support this man.  They deserve to know why he needs an introduction.  It’s strange.  Even his most devoted followers need to have enough honesty to ask why he needs to be reintroduced.

There is one other reason maybe the man who needs no introduction needs to be reintroduced.  It is entirely possible his internals are so very bad, that those around him are going to need to create a new narrative, and try to make Mr. Perfect into Mr. Likable.

Since Mitt Romney is being compared to Richard Nixon, maybe he just needs to give a few warm and fuzzy Checkers speeches.  Oopsie, that won’t work.  He could talk about his wife’s illness and how they fight for her health, like others suffering with MS by buying show horses that cost a quarter million bucks a pop.  Nope, that won’t work, not when he deducted nearly $80,000 from his taxes for said horse.  Then he may not want to discuss the fact that he pays a far lower percentage of taxes than We the Little People (and I don’t want any lectures about capital gains – I know what they are).  Or, maybe the little Mrs. doesn’t want to discuss the lawsuit she lost about selling a terribly abused show horse for nearly $300,000.

Okay, chuck the Checkers type speech.

He could discuss how he is going to dismantle Obamacare.  Oopsie, once again.  He invented Obamacare.  The other day he even said he was proud of Romneycare.

Chuck that idea.

He could discuss his respect for woman.  Then, he could try and explain why his running mate thinks that rape is just another form of conception.

Bad idea.

He could discuss his faith.  Is he ashamed of it?  Oh, wait a minute.  The LDS church just released a video saying that members of his church weren’t all voting for him (as we’ve been led to believe) and they had a right to support who they wanted.

He could discuss how important it is to create jobs in this country, but…yikes, he is responsible for outsourcing thousands of jobs, and cutting others.

Yep, we’ve got a problem here.

Perhaps we should just leave well enough alone and let Mitt just be Mitt and stand on his own record.  Oh, wait a minute.  One of these days his devoted followers will wake up and smell the decaf and realize Mitt Romney’s record is even more liberal than that of Barack Obama.

Welcome to the brave new world of Mitt Romney’s GOP.

 

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