“As God As My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly”


It doesn’t matter how you spin it, Mitt Romney is in bad shape.  He may have come up 1, count it ONE, point, but in political convention speak, that’s a disaster.  It doesn’t matter how you spin it.

The only way The Pink Flamingo can explain what is going on with Mitt Romney, the convention, and his campaign is to compare it to a Kevin Costner movie. You want it to be good.  You spend hard earned money to go see it, only to discover what should be a good movie and turns out to be a turkey.  So, you give him a second chance, and that one’s even worse.  After awhile you begin to think that Bull Durham, Dances with WolvesRobin Hood, Field of Dreams, and Tin Cup are just flukes.

So, you sit there, really wanting _________ (insert title of recent Costner film) to be good.  It’s a turkey.  It’s bad.  It sucks.  You keep telling yourself that it will be better. You keep hoping that he will somehow learn how to act before the next scene, but it just doesn’t happen.  There are moments in Wyatt Earp that are sheer poetry.  He basically gets the story right, but try some acting classes.  Try putting those 20 hours or so of what could be a very important addition to the Earp story into something usable.

Instead, Costner relied, way too much, on the lying, mendacious canard laden piece of poison pen prevarications by Frank Waters’ Earp Brothers of Tombstone.  Fortunately, he payed more than lip service to the Stuart Lake version of Earp’s life.  Unfortunately, he inserted far too much of the Waters’ version, which has been proven by your humble blogger, in my book, Travesty, to be pure, unadulterated sh*t.

When I was writing Travesty, in my original draft, I would footnote each factually inaccurate piece of sh*t with “that’s a lie”.  My editor, Mark Dworkin, was constantly having to talk me down off the wall.  “Don’t say it is a lie. Prove it is a lie.”  I mention this because on Saturday evening, Mark lost his battle with cancer.   I am still trying to comprehend the loss of such a good friend. As per Mark’s instructions, I noted the mistakes, and did not accuse Frank Waters of being lying piece of scum, but, I wanted too.

This brings me back to Mitt Romney’s alleged post-convention bounce.  There basically isn’t one. No matter how the right tries to look at this turkey, it ain’t gonna’ bounce and like Les Nesman’s Thanksgiving Turkey Giveaway, it ain’t gonna’ fly, either.

You cannot spin this.  It is like trying to get turkeys to fly.  They land with a thud.  That is what has happened to Mitt Romney’s version of the GOP.  It’s landing with a thud. He is so disliked in New Mexico, he is going to cost Heather Wilson a Senate seat.  It’s that bad.

When you go first with your national convention, you’re already at a disadvantage.  If you’re basically “tied” like Romney allegedly is (and I use the word “allegedly” because I don’t think they are) you are going to need at least a 5 to 6 point bounce to stay competitive.

Romney got 1 point.

Barack Obama now has home field advantage.  If the first evening is any indication of what is going to happen, it’s basically over.  The only thing that will salvage Romney’s campaign is for Obama to completely bomb in the debates.  Obama’s the debater, Romney is not.

If Obama picks up even 4 points, it’s over.

Anyone with any experience watching the political scene over the years knows that what happened at the RNC was a total and complete disaster.  I have watched every convention since 1968.  It was the worst I have ever seen.  There was no joy,  happiness, no diversity, only a bunch of tight-ass white men who came out looking like a bunch of misogynistic racists, and the women who serve them as their lord and master.

To make matters even worse, there was NOT ONE SINGLE TRIBUTE to our troops during the convention.  Ann Romney made a simpering shallow fool of herself, trying to say that the only women who were worth-while were mothers, sister, daughters, etc.  It was all about keeping the little woman barefoot and pregnant.

There was no laughter, happiness, joy, or love.  There was nothing, only women being hooked up to the stirrups to deliver their tenth child, and then dying to repopulate the world with little white babies.

The American people aren’t stupid.  We know when we’re being forced to watch a turkey fly. It is funny in Cincinnati, but not in the GOP.


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