Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Clause and he is a Republican (a real one, not one of those tea party fakes). Thursday was the Feast Day of Saint Nicholas.
Born in 270 AD, Nikolas of Myrna was a Bishop, who died on December 6, 343. His life is celebrated by we evil Episcopalians, the entire Anglican Communion, Catholics, Greek & Russian Orthodox, and even Baptists, Lutherans, Methodists, and Presbyterians.
He was a kind, goodly man who was devoted to helping the poor and those less fortunate. He is the patron saint of children, sailors, fisherman, merchants, broadcasters, the falsely accused, and… repentant thieves!
He was also one of the bishops who signed the Nicene Creed.
“...In his most famous exploit, a poor man had three daughters but could not afford a proper dowry for them. This meant that they would remain unmarried and probably, in absence of any other possible employment, would have to become prostitutes. Hearing of the poor man’s plight, Nicholas decided to help him, but being too modest to help the man in public (or to save the man the humiliation of accepting charity), he went to his house under the cover of night and threw three purses (one for each daughter) filled with gold coins through the window opening into the man’s house. One version has him throwing one purse for three consecutive nights. Another has him throw the purses over a period of three years, each time the night before one of the daughters comes of age. Invariably, the third time the father lies in wait, trying to discover the identity of their benefactor. In one version the father confronts the saint, only to have Saint Nicholas say it is not him he should thank, but God alone. In another version, Nicholas learns of the poor man’s plan and drops the third bag down the chimney instead; a variant holds that the daughter had washed her stockings that evening and hung them over the embers to dry, and that the bag of gold fell into the stocking.The legends with the most likely historical basis are the stories of Nicholas helping three girls and stories of Nicholas helping sailors…”
It just seems terribly apropos and terribly ironic that on this of all saint days, the Republican Party would get one of its greatest gifts – the resignation of Jim DeMint.
If The Pink Flamingo were to list the politicians I dislike in order, well, the list would look something like what I have listed below. You should also note that I don’t include Mitt Romney, who is now a has-been. They are all of the extreme right tea party variety. It dawns upon me, that, thanks to Saint Nicholas, several of these uniquely dishonest, pandering, prostituting embarrassments to the GOP are either on their way out or surviving on borrowed time.
- Jim DeMint
- Joe Arpaio
- Michele Bachmann
- Paul Ryan
- Rand Paul
- Mark Sanford
- Nikki Haley
- Rick Santorum
- Jan Brewer
- Allen West
Let The Pink Flamingo count the ways I’m glad Jim DeMint is leaving the Senate! It is a veritable Christmas List!
- The Tea Parties get screwed
- He gets his just rewards for destroying our chances in the Senate
- I Am Not A Witch
- There’s no such thing as a illegitimate rape
- Mike Lee
- Sharon Angle
- Makes the Koch Brothers Squirm
- Proves how discredited the Heritage Foundation is
- Allows for the comic relief of an alleged Mark Sanford redemption
- Exposes Jennifer Rubin as the idiotic fake that she is
- Makes Rush Limbaugh’s life just a little more difficult
- Will make a nice addition to the FOX Tabloid News Team
- It makes Erick Erickson’s life more difficult
- Grover Norquist loses his biggest rat fink supporter
- No more crap candidates
- Americans for Prosperity lose
- The Senate Conservative Fund dies an ignoble death
- No more idiots to primary decent Republicans
- The end of the tea parties?
- Lindsey wins!
Let’s just think about the Naughty Stocking. It looks like the extreme right has been given a great big fat lump of bituminous coal. Grover Norquist received his Christmas Goose (verb) early this year (as in a good stiff you know what in the you know where – which is what (noun) Norquist truly is. For those who aren’t quite sure of the etymology, let’s just say that the word we’re using for what Norquist is is also another word for the mascot of the Democratic party!) Rand Paul is hanging on by his fingernails. He’ll probably make a graceful exit claiming to run for POTUS. Mitch McConnell is another recipient of an early Christmas Goose. There are normal Republicans in the Senate who are standing in line to administer that one. Harry Reid will need to wait his turn.
Today’s big losers:
- Jim DeMint
- Grover Norquist
- Erick Erickson
- Rand Paul
- Nikki Haley
- Charles & David Koch
- Americans for Prosperity
- Tea Partiers everywhere
- Paul Ryan
- Mitch McConnell
The Pink Flamingo would put the Heritage Foundation on that list, but they’ve been big losers before this!
The winners today are (in order):
- The American People
- Lindsey Graham
- Tom Coburn
- Barack Obama
- The women of the GOP Senate
- Bill Toomey
- John Boehner
- Tim Scott
- South Carolina
- The Republican Party
Not only did Christmas come early for the GOP, but we are already drunk blogging for New Year’s Eve, with the news that Mark Sanford, as in don’t cry for me while I’m in Argentina, is thinking about a run for DeMint’s seat!
And so, boys and girls, The Pink Flamingo will end this piece with a great holiday gift, expressing the full glory of the season!
Dear Mr. DeMint, don’t let the door hit you on the way out!
There, The Pink Flamingo thinks I handled things well, with just a modicum of gloating. Oh, what the heck, I haven’t had this much fun since Mark Sanford went to Argentina and got caught with well, don’t cry for me Argentina!