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The Boobs of the GOP

February 19, 2013

imagesThe Pink Flamingo should no longer be shocked when encountering really big boobs in the GOP.  This was to be just a little fun post making fun of a truly idiotic boob in North Carolina.  Funny thing happened on the way to satire.  I discovered that the sponsor of the boob bill, Tim Moffitt is a big time tea party loon.  He is also bought and paid for by … yep, you guessed it.

Just who is the biggest boobs, the boobs that were exposed in Ashville, or the boobs of the GOP who want to ban the boobs? The Republican Party in North Carolina is proof that boobs are everywhere, especially in the State House. Last year, a dozen women protested, topless in Ashville in a park.  This is prompting some Republicans to have breasts listed as genitalia. Granted, if I had a kid under 18, and they happened to encounter the bare boobs in the park, I would be a little annoyed with the brains behind the boobs.  He is joined by Rep. Rayne Brown (@raynebrown).  Brown is very conservative.

There is nothing wrong with enacting a law where women cannot go topless, as long as there is the same law for a man – if a state like North Carolina is going to do something truly stupid like they are now planning.  GOP State Rep. Tim Moffitt’s (@TimMoffitt) bill is so ill defined and so strange, it could literally make it illegal for a women to even show any cleavage.  Then again, it is so poorly worded it is possible all a woman needs is a little well placed duct tape and (quack quack) she’s good to go.  According to Rep. Tim Moore, duct tape fixes everything.  Is the law unconstitutional if it only applies to women?

“…If mountain women are going topless, you know it’s bound to be a slippery slope. It’s only a matter of time until this spreads down the hill to Wilkesboro, Statesville and eventually Raleigh itself. In fact, Rep. Rayne Brown of Davidson has signed on as a cosponsor because her constituents are worried that topless women will show up in her county, inciting mammary hysteria among the masses….”

If a female Bigfoot in North Carolina is seen in public without wearing a bra, is she subjected to six months imprisonment?  Now that Dr. Melba Ketchum has basically proved that Bigfoot is human, do we enforce society’s laws, rules, and regulations on them?  Just asking.  Then again knowing the idiots of the far right, they may decide to declare open season on a newly reported human species.  We don’t need no stinkin’ science.  If far right white supremacists consider minorities less than human, what are they going to do now?  Are they going to force missionaries on them, with crap clothes from a missionary barrel, because they obviously walk around naked. Or, will they just decide to round them up, put them on a reservation, and exterminate them the way they did the Indians in the country.  Oh, wait, many of these newly determined PEOPLE already live with the Indians.



Now that The Pink Flamingo is over my snark, I’m going to get onto another snark.  In the state of North Carolina, a bill has reached the floor of the House sponsored by the GOP would send a woman to jail, for six months, with a felony for showing her breasts.  The problem with the bill, which now basically lists breasts as “private parts” (genitalia), is that it appears any portion of the breast, including something low cut, could land a woman in jail for 30 days.  This concerns The Pink Flamingo because I wear low cut blouses.  If I were ever to step foot in North Carolina, if this booby prize of all bills were to pass, could I be subjected to arrest for wearing something low cut?

“...would change the state’s definition of “private parts” to include “the nipple, or any portion of the areola, or the female breast.” The bill stipulates that the punishment a woman receives if she exposes her breasts depends on why the woman did so. “Depending on whether such exposure is judged to be ‘for the purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire,’ the woman could be charged with a felony, punishable by up to six months in prison for first-time offenders. More mundane exposure would be a misdemeanor meriting up to 30 days in jail…”

Before we go awarding any booby prizes to the biggest boob in the GOP, it should be noted that the boob behind the boob ban, who doesn’t quite know the difference between boobs and genitalia  also has a problem with gays and lesbians.  Golly gee, imagine that!



No wonder the man doesn’t know the difference between a boob and genitalia. He is suspect of education in general. Yes, he said that, and was still re-elected.

Out of Control NC

Out of Control NC

Never fear, there is a connection to the biggest boobs of them all, the tea party loons of the far right!  Well….there’s more to the story.  Seems this big boob is known as King Tim.

Scrutiny Hooligans

Scrutiny Hooligans

Why is it, when you run up against these boobs on the far right, they are always connected to the tea parties, and don’t give a damn about people, their rights, or what is right. Seems that the Booby King was big into disenfranchising the elderly.  He is considered one of the most extreme lawmakers in the state of NC.

“…All that heat resulted in Letters to the Editors of various news outlets and a heap of email sent to House Republicans. The pressure became too great, and Rep. Moffitt altered the original seizure bill into a “Study” bill, staying up late to do it. Talk began among Democrats about Home Rule, the ability for local governments not to be at the mercy of hostile lawmakers.

There were various shenanigans, and the long session of the NC General Assembly ended. Months passed. Tim Moffitt was named one of the most extreme lawmakers in the state. In December of 2011 and January of 2012, I republished a very readable history of the Asheville water system written by John Stevens. Area activist Barry Summers began offering his perspective on the matter. He, along with Katie Hicks, raised questions about whether Rep. Moffitt’s true intentions were privatization of this public resource. Rep. Moffitt, before his “study committee” met, “called odds that Asheville would be stripped of control over the the water system ‘50-50.’ ‘Control over delivering water and setting rates could go to another agency not under the city’s direction, he said.’”

On January 23, 2012, The “study committee” first met to begin the process of pretending to hear evidence and opinions. I don’t want to spoil the narrative for you, but they would later arrive at exactly the conclusions reached by Moffitt in his original, unilateral water seizure bill. The City of Asheville produced this excellent resource about the system’s past, present, and future:…”

According to information The Pink Flamingo has uncovered, Moffett is owned by ALEC.  He tried seizing, for want of a better word, the water supply for Ashville, NC, basically to privatize it. Moffett is bought and paid for by the NC Business Coalition.  One of the leaders of the group is John A. Allison, former CEO of BB&T, and one of the nation’s biggest Randians!  He’s a big Koch Head.  He is also owned by American’s for Prosperity.

Speaking for Buncombe

Speaking for Buncombe

Funny thing about the Kochs. You never know where they are going to show up, or when.  When I first began this post, I figured we were dealing with some boob in NC, who just didn’t like women, was ultra religious, and had a sharia thing going on.  That is not what we are dealing with, at all.

Tim Moffett is the Koch’s great North Carolina Hope.  He’s being groomed to be NC’s version of Jim DeMint, Ted Cruz, or Rand Paul.  The next time there is an open in either the House or Senate, see Tim run and see Tim get elected. He has huge money and big time backers behind him.  He is the chosen one.

The Big Boob Bill is not about boobs.  It is about a test, to see just how far this man, this Koch Head can be trusted.  Will he do what they tell him to do.  He is being groomed, promoted, and prepared to be the next big thing in the South.  He’s plastic.  There are no religious values, no family values, no nothing.  He’s divorced, shares custody of his three sons, and does what he is told.

This is about control.  It is about putting women in their place.  The Kochs are part of the growing boutique prison business, owned and operated, with help from the locals.  What they are doing in NC will begin to translate to other states.  Women are to be put in their places, which is basically in the harem, cloaked, having children for their lords and masters.  Any woman who dares step out of line will end up in jail.  The reason the wording in this bill is so nebulous is that it seeks to criminalize – if they can get away with it – any women who dares even show just a hint of cleavage. I could go to jail for 30 days in North Carolina for the blouses I wear.

Studies have found if women are constantly objectified and harassed, they cease any of their political activism.  The average woman can be harassed to the point where she stops fighting and just stays home. Women are the best hope against the Koch Machine.  The far right has a habit of objectifying and destroying women who dare play a man’s game in a man’s world.  This proposed bill in NC, which will most likely pass, is just the first of many we’ll start to see around the country.

Show come cleavage and go to prison?

Why shouldn’t we expect this after the vile candidates the far right loons nominated and ran for the House and Senate in November?   If these people aren’t stopped, we will begin to see more of these laws.



  • jose maria says:

    This is absolutely hilarious. If the men would just ignore the little huzzies shaking their boobs around in the park in Ashville, they would soon lose interest. I have seen women go topless on the beaches in Europe and around the pools in hotels, but no one except American tourists paid much attention to them. It doesn’t make much sense to put a woman in jail for showing some cleavage. Women have been showing cleavage for centuries. It is part of the beauty of being a woman. I love a story about Mrs. Jefferson Davis getting ready for a ball when she was first lady of the Confederacy. A black woman was helping her dress and Mrs. Davis expressed some concern that her gown exposed too much cleavage. The black woman said, “Them that has, shows, them that don’t, don’t” Now that is just plain common sense.

  • SJ Reidhead says:

    This is the greatest comment I’ve ever received! I LOVE IT… or – if you got it, flaunt it!


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