Teens Will Be Teens, Right?


P1010492One of the serious undercurrents of the ‘Free Kate’ debacle is the strange fight for teen and child sexuality.  Having once been a teen, myself, I can guarantee that part of the game is for a teen to think about ‘stuff” like that.  I used the word ‘stuff’ because that’s how a teen’s mind works.  A teen thinks they are all that, the be all and end all, or as a friend once said, omnipotent, omnivorous, and omnipresent. A normal teenager is going to think about their ‘sexuality’ as a rite of passage, all grown up, and ready for the world  A normal teen is going to have those moments of absolutely crazed obsession. That’s what the teenage years are for, is for obsession, omnipotence, omnipresence, and omnivorous refrigerator raiding.  It’s a time where that driver’s license and part time job let a kid think they are the be all and end all, hello world, I’ve arrived.

That is normal.  Teenagers have basically developed the personality of who they are.  Most of what they are has been formed.  They have their likes, dislikes, and opinions.  The basic qualities of who they are going to be as adults are there.  What is missing is reason, judgment, maturity, wisdom, and experience. That’s why teens have parents, who are to provide just enough of a leash for their kid to get caught in the white picket fence going down the law, to the car. They provide just enough allowance to revoke it. Through love, reason, wisdom, judgment, and experience, they are the missing part of the here I am world teenager.

Those are the good parents.  They’re not cool.  They’re basically a humiliating embarrassment to their child.  They are dorks, nerds, annoying, persistent,  way uncool, alleged prison wardens, who appear to be put on earth to thwart and ruin their teenage child’s way cool social life.  They are smart enough, and love their child enough to know when to have a good time with their teen, and when to turn into Darth Vadar, complete with the heavy breathing. It’s the dad who sits in the living room, by the front door, cleaning his guns, when Billy comes to take his daughter out – just like my brother would do.  It’s like the good parent (like my father) who would meet the little snot at the door and offer to take his daughter and her date out for dinner.  He always paid for it.  The guys were always so broke, they always took him up on it.  It’s like the father who gave the guys the keys to his car, telling them to go home, and bring it back tomorrow – and meet him at before church.

Those are the good parents. They know just how much to butt in, how often to ‘party’ with their teens, and when to threaten to scalp them.  When we were teens, my mother told my sister and I if we came home pregnant, she’d kill us.  Then our father would kill us.  Then our grandfather would kill us, and express how disappointed he was with us.  Her sister did the same thing with our cousin.  We believed them.  Years later our mothers told us they would have been there to help us.  We did not realize their help would go beyond actual ‘murder’ and would be actual ‘help’.  We know that our parents were serious about things like that. We didn’t even attempt to violate the dire warning.

That’s the way a good parent acts.  They have already instilled such respect in their children, that, by the time they get around to the get pregnant and I’ll kill you speech that you know they’re not going to commit actual murder, but death would be far preferable to what dire fate was waiting, lurking, like a monster in a science fiction movie.

Okay, so they weren’t the cool parents.  The cool parents let their kids party all night.  They let them be in the school play and hang out with the teacher who allowed them to get drunk the night after the play. It was cool.  They needed to learn how to deal with life and booze.  Never mind that a couple of the girls did end up pregnant, and one of the guys there eventually became such a boozer that he drove his car off the bridge, into about 150 feet of water.  His parents were cool, though.

Cool parents allowed their daughter to run wild with a guy, decide to take a nice long weekend away from them, to finally explore their sexuality.  They were in a terrible accident.  She was hurt so badly, she spent the rest of the year in the hospital, and never did return to school.  But – her mother wanted to be cool.  BTW – she hated her mother.

The cool parents partied with their daughters.  They’d get drunk together.  Their daughters left home, and never gave their parents a second glace. Of course, those were the cool moms who constantly castigated the over-protective parents like mine, about how bad they were as parents.  We should be allowed to go to the Chicken Shack, learn how to drink, do a little pot, and fool around a little.  Their daughters were usually pregnant by the time they were sixteen, had quit school, and have led miserable lives.  But – their parents were cool.

Teens will be teens and explore their sexuality. We all know that teens are all hormones.  They’re all emotion, all crazy.  The teenage years are not about exploring their sexuality, but learning how to contain it so they can grow up to be viable and productive adults, who have a healthy view of sex.  Those kids who were allowed to spend their time exploring their sexuality didn’t do much more than that.   Oh, a few did, but most were so busy exploring, obsessively, their teen sexuality that they didn’t know much about history, science, or the French they took. They did know a heck of a lot about certain kinds of biology.

Adults who constantly insist that teens will be teens, and kids who are much younger should be allowed to explore their sexuality are either stupid or terribly sick.  For one thing, a kid isn’t ready – yet.  I guess the analogy I would use with some of these people is that you think a teen should be allowed to explore their sexuality, when they want.  Should they get to play in the middle of a major highway?  There’s not much difference.

When you reach a bottom line, it’s even possible to remove morality, chastity, religion, standards of behavior, innocence, and corruption out of the equation. There are things you want when you are young that just aren’t all that good for you.  It’s great to stay up all night, and think about drinking, but there are times when alcohol poisoning leads to death.  The idea of mind altering drugs might be fun for some, but the results can also be deadly.  Driving 100 mph down a straight piece of highway is terribly alluring.  It can also be deadly. Smoking can have catastrophic results.  The same adults who think it is perfectly wonderful for a child to exercise their sexuality recoil in horror at the thought of mashed potatoes, gravy, roast beef all over four slices of cheap white bread. (Oh for the days when I could eat that and not be sick with indigestion – and eat the meat!)  They think there is nothing wrong with an 18 year old having sex with someone 13 or 14, but yet, the idea of dessert is obscene.

Strange how these things work, isn’t it?  Maybe the problem is the fact that dessert is now obscene and childhood sex should be legalized.  It is pure evil to consume a Starbucks Vente Carmel Mocha Frap with extra whipped creme and chocolate.  There is nothing wrong with an 18 year old adult taking a 14 year old child into a restroom and introducing them to the delights of hurried and forbidden sex.

Pizza is to be a forbidden food, but sex between an 11 year old and a 15 year old is considered exploration.  A Burger King Whopper is the ultimate in evil.  Breaking a court order 20K times in order to have phone sex, or bully your young victim is just lovely.

It’s destroying the life of the high school football hero, when he’s being held accountable for brutally raping a 14 year old girl. The poor thing was just exploring his sexuality.  She was asking for it, the little slut.

Where does this end?  Right now, I don’t think I even want to know.  What I do know is childhood is for the innocent. It is a time for growing up, not for practicing one’s budding sexuality.  I know what happens to an innocent child when they are violated.  Childhood is forever corrupted, destroyed, and your life is left in ruins.  Anyone who advocates allowing childhood sexuality is a corrupter.  They are evil.  They are ruining childhood.  There are reasons society considers such things taboo.

They need to remain that way.