In May of this year, in Rajasthan, India, a woman died of burns she received when the man who was raping her, was not satisfied with her submission. He poured kerosene on her and set her on fire. Was it her fault? There are those in this culture, right here in the United States, who may try and legitimize it. She was asking for it when the rapist broke into her home. You see, when a woman is raped, she must be doing something wrong, something to ask for it, right? Never mind that rape is not about sex. It is about power, hatred, violence, and revenge. It is quite often about impotent little men who can only achieve some sort of emotional and psychological satisfaction by forcing themselves on women, to dominate and abuse them.
I’ve been involved in an interesting discussion on Twitter, about women, men, drinking, rape, stupidity, and culture. Her comment is justified, why don’t families treat their daughters not to go out and get roaring down drunk in public. They are opening themselves to being raped or even worse.
Why don’t they?
Along that line, if we are going to go there, why aren’t today’s young males taught that you don’t rape women who are drunk? One of my favorite movies is Philadelphia Story. Toward the end, when Katherine Hepburn’s character learns that Jimmy Stewart’s character did not take advantage of her, even when she wanted him to, he responded that she was a little the worse for wear, from champagne. Rules were rules. A man did not take advantage of a woman who was drunk.
The comment was made that women should teach their daughters to have some common sense and not get drunk in public. If so, that would cut down on the epidemic of college rape. I agree that young women should be taught common sense, not to get drunk in public, and to adopt some street smarts. Getting drunk in public is just plain dumb. Oh, there are times when women, when anyone should get a pass for getting drunk in public.
The night my grandmother died, my mother and her youngest sister, none of whom had eaten anything in 2 days, went out for dinner with my father and uncle. They had more than one too many martinis and G & Ts. Aside from the restaurant owner, who was friends with my aunt and uncle, telling him to take them home, they were ruining his business, nothing else happened. Oh, my mother did get stuck in my cousin’s big ice chest, but she and my aunt had polished off two bottles of champagne and were trying to see if they could use the ice chest for a coffin. The neighbors called the cops, thinking they were being slaughtered, they were laughing so hard. (My family acts weird with death and funerals).
That’s the real thing about teaching young women not to get drunk in public. Besides the fact that it can come back to haunt your future employment, get you into trouble, and just make a woman look like a total fool, there is one other reason women should not get drunk in public. Young men apparently are not being taught not to rape young women who are drunk.
Why must the burden of responsibility be placed totally on the woman, when women rarely go around raping men? Evidently the responsibility of not being raped is solely a woman’s problem, these days. After all, boys will be boys. If a woman gets drunk in public, she’s asking for it, the same way she’s asking for it if she wears shorts in public, or goes jogging in public. (Frankly, I think anyone who goes jogging on some trails where there is no real safety is just plain – really, really, really stupid – male or female). She’s asking for it if she is too attractive, or too loose, or wears a blouse too low cut, or a skirt too short. In some cultures she’s asking for it if she goes outside not completely covered, or without a male in the family to escort her from the raping male public.
Is this where our culture is heading? Are we rushing out of control, thanks primarily to the far right and their anti-woman agenda, where any women who is not specifically modest, covered from head to toe, out in public, or dares to step into a bar is asking to be raped?
Why is it the woman’s fault?
Why isn’t it the fault of the man who rapes her, who violates her, who decides to ruin her life, not for sex and pleasure but because she needs to be taught a lesson.
When are women going to stand together and stop slut-slamming other women who are raped. It is NEVER a woman’s fault, no matter who she is or where she is. Oh, she can be faulted for being stuck on stupid, but until, as a nation, as women, we stand firm that no is no, then men are going to take advantage of the situation and rape at will.
Any woman who thinks this is acceptable is compounding the situation, entirely. The problem is the fact that there are so many women who do. I suspect some of the most anti-women women are sitting there in church, every time the doors open. Goodly ‘Christian’ women don’t get raped, right?
As for women, in this country, a woman should be able to walk down the street naked and not be raped. We allegedly live in a civilized culture. In a civilized culture the inhabitants know the difference between rape and violence. Rape is never about sex. It is always about some sick perversion that exists, within the psyche of the man who rapes. Why should the woman be forced to control herself (when it is, except in those rare instances when a woman is setting a man up to get him in trouble) when it is always the man ‘s fault?
Why is it the woman’s fault?