Christian Patriarchy


la luz 5I’m taking something of a blogging day off on Monday.  I thought I would throw some truly disgusting words of advice from the good reverend John Thompson of the Family Shepherd Ministries.  He is a member of the National Center for Family-Integrated Churches, big time home schooling advocate, and believes in the subjugation and submission of women.

“...If surrender to Christ is the concrete foundation for your dream mansion, then a father’s patriarchal oversight, protection and provision of a spouse might be symbolized by a mansion’s sturdy exterior walls.

Young ladies, are you learning to trust your father to protect you physically, morally and emotionally and to provide a spouse for you with your final approval? This, surely, is one of the most difficult – yet most crucial – of God’s principles for marriage preparation. How formidable it can be to entrust this very personal area of life to another human being, even to a loving father. Yet in Scripture we see example after example of godly young men and women trusting their father for oversight, protection and even the provision of a spouse. How did they do this? The key to their trust was in seeing their Heavenly Father working through their earthly father. They believed the principle behind Proverbs 18:22, that he who finds a wife… obtains favor from the Lord. They had a deep and abiding confidence in the sovereignty of God to lovingly and successfully use imperfect earthly fathers to accomplish His will, just as Bethuel told his daughter Rebekah in regard to Isaac, This matter comes from the Lord…. So, young people, the secret to trusting your father is trusting your Heavenly Father to work His principles of scriptural romance through your earthly father.

Now, fathers, in no way does this leave you off the hook. God expects you to be faithful even more so than your children, since you are their example. So during this early friendship stage of preparation for marriage, are you physically, morally and emotionally protecting and providing for your children in such a way that you earn their trust? This is your primary patriarchal task during the friendship stage of relationships. This is the season when you lay the foundation for later years when your children’s deepest trust in you will be essential. What can you do now to build your children’s confidence?

You can demonstrate your faithfulness in this area by preparing your daughter to be a suitable helper (Gen. 2:18) in the areas of academics, fine arts, life skills and spiritual life, praying for her and with her about her future husband. Further, you must give her patriarchal oversight by never releasing her to an unprotected situation – physically, morally or emotionally (Ps. 36:1; Deut. 22:21). For your sons, you must likewise build trust by preparing them to be godly leaders, both vocationally and spiritually, counseling them against the vices of ungodly women, just as Solomon did in Proverbs chapters 2, 5, 6 and 7. If your children observe you faithfully being a patriarch in their early youth, then it will be only natural for them to trust you in their later youth. What will happen if you don’t take time now to build your children’s confidence? Of course, they will struggle in trusting you later, and you risk losing their heart as many careless or misguided parents have so painfully learned.

Mothers, during this friendship stage, think about practical ways that you can aid your husband in being a trustworthy protector and provider of the family? Consider how you can build up – rather than tear down – your children’s trust in their father to provide an excellent spouse for them? Take to heart Solomon’s wise counsel: The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands (Prov. 14:1).

Thus far in building our dream mansion, we’ve poured the foundation of piety and built sturdy walls of patriarchal protection and provision. Next on our work schedule is something to secure our mansion from invasion – a moat filled with water and a drawbridge reserved only for your future spouse. The moat and drawbridge represent the principle of purity….”


“...Patriarchy refers to a father’s physical, moral and emotional oversight and protection of his children, as well as his provision of a spouse with the cooperation of a son or approval of a daughter. What is its application during the courtship stage of marriage preparation?

From the Scriptural examples, there seem to be two phases in the courtship stage of relationships. In the first phase, the parents alone are involved as they explore the field of potential spouses and weed out those who are clearly unsuitable. In this first phase, the son or daughter may not even be aware of any specific candidate’s name. The goal, of course, is to reap the wisdom of the parents and to preserve the emotional purity of the son or daughter. So if a suitor were to directly approach a young lady, she should immediately refer him to her father as did Rebekah in Genesis 24. Once a potential spouse becomes a likely candidate, however, the son or daughter becomes personally involved in the investigative process under the careful and loving oversight of the father. Let’s look now in greater depth at these two phases: the inquiry and the consensus.

Phase One: the Inquiry. Even before his children are ready for marriage, a wise father will be continually building wholesome relationships with other like-minded families, not only for present fellowship but also for future spouses. The significance of this early relationship building can’t be stressed enough because long-term relationships give the greatest prospect for wise choices. You will have had the opportunity to observe these young men and women in all kinds of circumstances, giving you the safest judgment of their true character, convictions and direction in life.

But where might a father find like-minded families? The starting place, of course, is in your own local church. But since that will not satisfy all marital needs, we can look next at other like-minded churches, both near and far, which might be discovered through publications such as Patriarch magazine and Quit You Like Men, web sites like, and ministries such as Steve Schlissel’s Reformed Matchmaker ( Beyond these resources, we can befriend other home-schooling families that we meet at church conferences and state homeschool conventions. Another place to meet like-minded families is at Christian conferences on themes of interest to your family. For example, since our daughters desire husbands with a serious interest in music, we have attended Christian music conferences. Plus, since we are each looking for someone different, we parents can keep an eye out for one another as we travel around….”

What is basically preached is a form of a “Christ-like manhood” where women to be seen, not heard, have no opinions, can be abused, by the hand of their husband, who is basically channeling Christ.  As Christ is the head of the church, the good, godly father is the head of the home.  He tells his wife and family what Christ would have them do.  It creates a special form of narcissism, where the godly man is the be all and end all of the world.  Once again, we’re dealing with men who are not only ignorant of the Bible but of history.

“…The historian Geoffrey Blainey wrote that women were more influential during the period of Jesus’ brief ministry than they were in the next thousand years of Christianity.Blainey points to Gospel accounts of Jesus imparting teachings to women, as with a Samaritan woman at a well, and Mary of Bethany, who rubbed his hair in precious ointment; of Jesus curing sick women and publicly expressing admiration for a poor widow who donated some copper coins to the Temple in Jerusalem, his stepping to the aid of the woman accused of adultery, and to the presence of Mary Magdalene at Jesus’ side as he was crucified. Blainey concludes: “As the standing of women was not high in Palestine, Jesus’ kindnesses towards them were not always approved by those who strictly upheld tradition. According to Blainey women were probably the majority of Christians in the first century after Christ…”

We all know that the kind of sh*t spread by people like John Thompson is abjectly contrary to the history of the church and the role of women in the New Testament.  I guess he’s quite unfamiliar, also with the history of women in the United States.  Quaker women were very instrumental in promoting women’s rights and equity.  What can you expect?

“…Five months later, as the time drew near, Maranatha was given a three-week window of time in which, on one of those days, between 3pm and midnight, I would come to take her to the wedding feast. So each day during this time, from 3pm to midnight, she had to be ready for my coming—suitcases packed, dressed for the wedding, and literally ready to walk out the door. When her father gave me the word, I, accompanied by “attendants of the bridegroom,” (Matt. 9:15, Mark 2:19-20, Luke 5:34-35) went and entered “with a shout” (cf. 1 Thes. 4:16-17; I barged through the door and shouted, “Maranatha! Maranatha!” which in Hebrew means, “Lord, come! Lord, come!”) and off we went to the wedding feast and into a wonderful life together. [Editor’s Note: The complete details of this fascinating story are shared in depth in Home School Digest (V9N2). To order, see pages 94-96.]

Most people begin with some knowledge of the truth in an area and then move into the experience of it. Amazingly, however, we came at it the other way around. We had a very rich experience in our betrothal and marriage and then subsequently came into more of a deeper understanding of it. It wasn’t until after we were married that we began to realize that, by God’s grace, we had, as it were, stumbled into discovering some of His ways for the process of moving from singleness to marriage. By this, I’m not referring to the specific procedure we did (legal JP wedding, waiting period, surprise wedding feast, etc.), but rather a number of elements that went into providing us with such a good foundation and launch into marriage….”

Yes, they really do this, here in the United States.

Oh, and marry ’em off young.

“...Parents, I would also charge you to consider this. The way many Christian homeschooling parents raise their daughters, they mature rather quickly and develop significant capacities by a relatively young age. By their middle-teens, many daughters (but by no means all) possess the maturity and skills to run their own home. My point is to encourage you to be open to the Lord and take to heart that some of your daughters may be ready to marry sooner than your preconceived ideas have allowed for. And why not, if they are truly ready? What is the purpose of holding out for a predetermined numeric age if they are legitimately prepared and the Lord has brought His choice of a young man along for her? Don’t be surprised if this is some of the fruit of your good parenting in bringing forth mature, well-equipped, Godly young daughters. However, I seldom think this will be the case for most young men—it takes them (us) a lot longer to get to where they need to be. I have also seen that, oftentimes, a difference in age—even a significant one—with the man being older, helps make for a better fit….”

Someone needs to explain to these men that we live in a modern world and not in a Taliban like environment, even if they so desire the world to be that way.