Why Have Sympathy for Pedophiles?


Screen Shot 2014-01-26 at 8.16.56 PM“…”I recently discovered a video of a convicted female sex offender that was posted by her church.  At first glance, some may think this is a wonderful video about God’s love and redemption. However, a closer look exposes something much different.”…”Boz Tchividjian

Two horrible tales about pedophiles have caught my attention.  They are different tales.  But, the reaction of those around two monsters who did not care about destroying innocence is what truly disturbs me.  I swear there is more sympathy for the offender than the innocent lives which have been harmed  by them.  We seem to be falling, head-long, into a culture where, for some individuals, there are no boundaries in using and manipulating children for their own sexual pleasure.  Heck, live and let live, right? We all know the 14-year-old boy Alice Gray molested got a kick out of it, right?  If we go back and look at Kate Hunt’s victim, she isn’t doing all that well, dealing with the hell that has been inflicted on her.

Of all the truly vile and disgusting tales I’ve heard in ages, is the headline from Roll Call that the suicide of Ryan Loskarn, long-time Capital Hill aide to Senator Lamar Alexander,  ‘Devastates the Capital Hill Community‘. The man was arrested with hundreds of nude photos of young boys on his computer.  He was paying to purchase these photos, allegedly.  Everyone was stunned and shocked.  Golly, the man bought pornographic photos of boys.  This is illegal.  It is the soul-sucking vampire-like actions of a man who was basically a pedophile.  He may not have been a ‘practicing’ pedophile, actively abusing children, but he was actively looking at children who were nude.

Photos like this don’t occur in a vacuum.  Children who pose for them are being victimized, one way or the other.  Most likely, they have been molested by a pedophile.  Their lives have been destroyed.  We don’t know how many of these young people even survive.  There are nightmare tales of human trafficking, DHS placement nightmares, and eventual death.  They are the victims, not the poor pervert who is paying to look at photos for him.

Alice Gray is a 28-year-old math teacher in Alabama.  She’s going to spend six months in jail for molesting a 14-year-old boy.  That alone is disgusting, but she’s asking for forgiveness, and her church is standing by her, just supporting her all the way.  This is to be noted because the minister of said church doesn’t bother expressing much in the way of sympathy for the boy she victimized.  For more of her tawdry and sickening tale, check R. S. McCainHe describes her as a pervert teacher.  I agree.  McCain highlights the fact that up to 80 female teachers in this country are charged, each year, with molesting children.  Next to family, a child is more likely to be molested by an educator than someone in any other profession.  I know.  I was molested by an elementary school principal. It does something to your respect for educators, and authority figures after having been nearly murdered by one.  Trust me.  I’m not going to cover the basic details of the story.  McCain has done an excellent job with it, as he does with his coverage of those who harm the most innocent.

I am more interested in the actions of Dr. Mark Wyatt of Deeper Life Fellowship, standing up for the young woman. Yes, he should be a minister, offering help.  She needs it.  But, Wyatt has ignored the horror of what the victim has experienced.  The video Alice Gray has released is not much different than an ‘I have sinned’ video a politician does after getting caught.

Boz Tchividjian, who is doing amazing work uncovering pedophiles and child abuse within organize religion basically highlighted everything I thought when I listened to this disturbing video.

  1. “...The “I’m just not that person anymore” response
  2. The “I understand” response:   Sexual offenders often attempt to convince others that they understand the harm they have caused to the victim.
  3. The “I was inappropriate” response:   Sexual offenders often label their abuse in non-abusive language in order to minimize the gravity of their offense.
  4. The “I am a victim” response:   Sex offenders often attempt to gain sympathy by portraying themselves as a victim of their own weaknesses and struggles.
  5. The “make the victim feel guilty” response:…At one point in the video, this offender remarks, “I pray that each of you be free of the pain, bitterness, anger, anxiety…these are not things from God.”  Going back to my murder analogy, how would parents react if the person who killed their son tells them that their anger and pain is not of God?  Such statements are self-serving attempts by the offender to cause immeasurable guilt in an already traumatized victim. Perpetrators do this in order to silence victims….”

Tchividjian also picked up on something I noticed immediately from her statement.  It was all about Alice Gray, drawing attention to herself.  Evidently her church fell for this, though her minister is now rapidly trying to distance himself from the video.

Screen Shot 2014-01-26 at 8.20.26 PM“…“I have received a number of emails and phone calls from both sex abuse victims and from at least one family member of a perpetrator, all of whom have said, ‘Thank you for this,'” Wyatt explained. “I had one woman write to me and say, ‘I have had bitterness in my heart for 22 years, but when I saw this video, I forgave my abuse and God healed my heart.'”…”

I’m sorry, but that’s pure bull. The resemblance between Alice Gray and Kate Hunt is even deeper than apprentice.  It is almost startling.  Alice Gray is featured on the left, and Kate Hunt is featured a little lower, on the right.  Both young women are narcissistic psychopaths who don’t give a damn about their victim. As Tchividjian notes, the so-called apology is more like a warning to the 14-year-old boy she abused, the same way Kate Hunt’s actions were a warning to the 14-year-old girl she abused.

Someone I follow on Twitter asked ‘So you think no sex offender who apologizes is sincere?’  My reply was, yes, they can be and the Braves can win the World Series, again, one day.  I’m beginning to think that a sincere apology is not part of their make-up, their nature.  There is something truly evil involved in sexually abusing a child.  It is almost a condemnation of their death of personScreen Shot 2013-09-15 at 1.24.17 AMality.  What the child was, is destroyed.  Something new will eventually grow, and take the place of what that person once was.  But, the child that was, will never ever be the same person, ever again. If you read comments made about the sentencing, you can see the same like-minded thread expressed by supporters of Kate Hunt.  They think an adult having sex with a young teenager is fine.

I wish I could show some sort of sympathy for the human condition of these individuals, those who destroy the lives of children, but I just don’t happen to see it that way.  Sure, someone can repent, and be sincere.  Fine, just don’t trust them near your kids.  One of the reasons I say this is because recidivism for pedophiles is tremendously high.

People like Alice Gray and Kate Hunt are pedophiles.  They are narcissists.  They know how to fool people, especially unwilling dupes who are sincerely trying to do what is right.  They are manipulators.  We need to also understand that a certain percentage of ministers are also of the same ilk, manipulators, narcissists, and psychopaths.  It’s like this one is a match made in hell.

Sympathy? Moi?  Forget about it.  I’ll wait maybe 25 years for both young women and see how they conduct the rest of their lives.  Narcissists can change, if they want to change.  I think with Alice Gray, we’re probably looking at a young woman who is now going to milk the religious world for all it’s worth, by giving her testimony.  She’ll do a book, speeches, and cash in on her new-found conversion.   She and her husband have been members of their church for nearly a decade.  She’s just now finding Christ? That alone is a bit alarming.  Her ‘renewal’ is rather  sudden, isn’t it?

I suspect she’s done this before, and is just now getting caught.  Not to worry, she’s on her way to becoming a born-again celeb, repentant, pretty, charming, and oh so convincing. And – there will be stupid Christians who fall for it.



4 thoughts on “Why Have Sympathy for Pedophiles?

  1. I think this is a case of the church being a bit naive, and being taken in by a manipulator. They loving the sinner, which they are supposed to do, but how much have they condemned the sin? That’s at the source of problem here. We don’t know how strongly they have condemned the action of molesting the child (if, in fact, it’s only one).

    In the end, we are all called to repentance, as well as forgiveness. However, only the Lord knows if one has really repented, or forgiven. That get’s sorted out by Him-in the end. This woman might have fooled a church, and a lot of other people, but if she’s lying, she’ll get what she has coming.

    Everyone has to realize that there is an obvious “ripple effect” caused by the abuse of children. The child suffers. The family of the child suffers while attempting to help the child recover. The community suffers from the loss of trust and faith in public institutions, as well as suffering the additional costs of assisting the victim, and trying and incarcerating the pedophile. One cannot rush to defend a pedophile without poring an ample amount of salt into these wounds. One cannot help by heaping insult onto injury.

  2. I’m working on another post, building on what you wrote here. They’re also forgetting the fact that, usually, when one is a convicted pedophile, that there is a prohibition about being near children. Does the church cater to the pedophile or the child?

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