I don’t know about you, but, far from being a woman who hates men, I love men. I enjoy men. I suspect there are many women who have been tarred as feminists because we feel we have a right to have the same rights as men, who like men as much as I do. I much prefer hanging out with men. They’re more fun. I’d rather talk about ‘guy’ stuff: science, politics, weird things, and baseball. I’m not comfortable in the mommy world with little kids, recipes, housekeeping, and submission. I like guys. I don’t care if they are gay or straight. Men are more fun. I can understand why men enjoy hanging with men. But – I don’t like men who are grasping for their manliness. They’re basically nothing but jerks.
There is the humorous. Anjush Bahuguna authored a piece about qualities women secretly envy about men. Some are hilarious. Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe men can’t handle us laughing at them and making fun of the qualities they think they possess.
- Ability to fix everything (Oh, really? I come from a family where, if a man grabs a hammer, wrench, and electric drill, run in terror!) Let’s change this to the fact that men think they have an ability to fix anything, and we women just let them think they can – not because we love ’em, but because the results are often hilarious.)
- Men don’t fret (Yea, right.)
- Sleeping through a crying baby. (My sister has the ability to sleep through just about anything. It was remarkable how she would wake up with the baby would cry. I can’t sleep through anything. My father, before his Alzheimer’s, could sleep through a volcanic eruption.)
- Aging with grace (Okay, we all envy that, and not secretly.)
- We mean what we say. (Since when? You never hear the term ‘lying dog’ applied to women.)
- How easily we can depend on them. (Of course, they’re lazy. Their mommies have waited on them, hand and foot. They expect every other woman to do the same thing.)
- Sex is the cure for everything. (That’s all they think about, right?)
- Long Lasting friendships. (My best friend and I have been friend since 1982.)
- Being the favorite parent. (That’s stupid.)
- Being ourselves. (Biggest fakes I’ve ever known have been men.)
- Being good at gaming. (Is that really a quality to admire?)
- Ability to get ready quickly. (Whatever.)
- Take jokes sportingly. (So does anyone with a healthy sense of humor, and I’m the worst.)
- Not knowing what’s where. (That’s a trait to be envied?)
Here’s the Esquire list:
- A man carries cash.
- Knows how to sruvive
- He can speak to dogs.
- He fantasizes about kung fu.
- He knows how to sneak a look at cleavage and not get busted.
- If he doesn’t like his job, he gets a new one.
- He can look you up and down and figure you out.
- A man owns up to what he does. Mark McGwire is not a man.
- He lets some mistakes pass, like dropping steak in the dirt.
- He loves the human body and naked women.
- He doesn’t tell everyone he did the dishes.
- He looks out for children, makes them stand behind him.
- He has had enough require to drink without being obtuse.
- Never does he order the sauvigon blanc.
- He welcomes the coming of age.
- He figures he can knock someone on their you know what.
- He does not rely on rationalizations or explanations.
- He gets the door, without thinking.
- He stops traffic when he must.
- He won’t always be liberal
- He won’t always be conservative
- He has tools and knows how to use them.
- He knows how to lose an afternoon, drinking, shooting pool.
- He knows how to lose a month, also.
- He listens.
- He is comfortable being alone – so he can sleep.
- He stands watch, the policeman, the poet, or both.
- He loves driving alone, most of the time.
- He should have his own sense of stile.
- He understands the basics of the planet, basic scientific theory and can figure out an ERA.
- He doesn’t know everything.
- He can admit to being wrong, and even admit to being lost.
- He will not wither at the thought of dancing, but does try to avoid it.
- He watches stuff, observes stuff….
P. S. I want one of these guys. Notice the difference with them and the godly, manly men who don’t like women? Then, I found a list made by one of the men who are looking for manliness. There’s nothing really wrong with the list except for #5. It’s also not a very hones list. Everyone aims for ease.
- Don’t aim for ease.
- See the world as it is and make the best of it.
- Never complain or offer and excuse
- Never quit
- Never pity someone.
The problem is, with the exception of #5, which is a horrible trait, any adult should aim for the qualities on this list. They are part and parcel of being a grown-up adult. Manliness is optional. If today’s manly godly manly movement would possess the ability to laugh at themselves it would be okay. But, they don’t have that ability. They take themselves far too seriously.
I think we’re starting to get the picture that there is a entire culture of men in this country who are such failures in life, that they blame women. They’re incapable of comprehending the fact that maybe women aren’t the problem. I know a lot about failure, and a lot about blame. Men who are waxing poetic about manliness aren’t adults. They’re still little boys in grown-up bodies, wanting to be something they aren’t. When life doesn’t go as planned, you look in the mirror.
I also know a heck of a lot about trying to live a life of faith, when everything is going wrong. Eventually, there needs to be a growing up process. Have you noticed that the men who are waxing poetic about being manly men are the younger end of the Baby Boom generation, and younger. That’s rather fascinating. I have a feeling, one of these days, some interesting sociological studies are going to be written about these godly boy-men.
A real man, a real manly man knows how to get over himself, and just be a person.