The series concludes, on Saturday, with Part-E.
There are ‘new’ Christian rules for dating. I did not even know there were ‘old’ rules for Christian dating, and I’ve been a Christian all my life. My bad? According to this godly source, the purpose of dating is not to have fun and enjoy the companionship of the opposite sex, but to identify a spouse with whom one can build a godly marriage. Also, just because an ungodly man offers to buy dinner is no reason, according to the godly, to take him up on the offer. Funny thing about that. Some of the most vile, abusive, and disgusting men I’ve known in my life have been godly. Some of the nicest have not been Christians.
- Must be a Christian (That old ‘unequally yoked verse pops up, again). The problem with Christians, for years, is they take this to be about marriage. ‘Unequally yoked’ is just smart in so many ways. Would you form a business partnership with someone who disagrees with a business philosophy? There is just good horse-sense here, and it isn’t just religion. Are you going to open a stock brokerage with someone who has a criminal past?
- Must be single (duh)
- Must desire marriage (So, you’re going to start dating this man who is ready to marry you?)
- Guard your heart
- Be true to yourself
- Oh – and dress modesty
- Don’t use your imagination (?)
- Limit your phone time
- Set boundaries
- If a person is unfaithful to God, they will be unfaithful to a spouse?
- Date with a purpose
- Keep God at your center
These stated to be Christian principles. One begins to wonder if these godly individuals even know what Christian is. Then, there is the other side, what a young father said he would tell his daughter about purity and sex.
- Nothing she will do will stop him from loving her.
- Never let anyone take photos of her without her permission
- Treat sex like gymnastics – have a good time
- Her worth is far more than decorating for a man
- No such thing as a man telling her she’s killing the ‘mood’
- You can’t be ‘ruined’ by the sex act
- Her body belongs to no one but herself
- Never do anything that will make her hate herself
- Anyone who tricks her into sex doesn’t care about her
- Wait until you know what you are doing & take responsibility for it
I think the bottom list, the non-religious list is far more honest, and is far more practical. Getting back to the old ‘unequally yoked’ phrase that is used for control, well, the insanity is that anyone who says they are a Christian is acceptable for an association.
It’s like this. The most vicious, criminal, unethical, criminal, miserable, crooked, dishonest, dishonorable, and just plain vile individual I have ever encountered is a godly Christian man. He’s an excellent Baptist, at church the moment the door open. He’s always up front with an altar call, constantly rededicating his life. If he is an example of a so-called godly business person, with whom one should be ‘yoked’, well, I’ll take an atheist every time. The man’s a crook. The only thing keeping him out of prison is his money and the politicians he owns.
A godly, but delusional religious person, Dr. Harry W. Schaumburg, wrote the following:
“…Self-interest is a real personal danger. Sin predisposes people, even pastors, to be a law unto themselves where they do what they want regardless of the consequences. Instead of submitting to God as the final authority for their private lives, Christians often live their lives focused on themselves. They begin to worship God’s creation (themselves) rather than the Creator….”
You show me a person who doesn’t have their own self-interest in mind and I will show you an idiot, someone seriously delusional, someone disturbed. Self-interest is terribly important for someone who is normal and rational. If someone doesn’t have their own self-interest at heart, they are either lying about it, or are not firing on all thrusters.
The word of the day is porneia. It is a word most often used to describe fornication in the Bible. Interestingly, it is not so much about sexual sin but idolatry.
If you spend a lot of time reading the Old Testament, especially Genesis, and familiarize yourself with the family of Jacob, you will discover they were basically the trashy neighbors you hope will never move anywhere near you. They were a BRAVO reality show waiting to happen. Starting with Jacob, the patriarch, they were a bunch of jerks, rapists, murders, whore-mongers, and any other possible violation of basic human decent behavior one could imagine. But – we need to realize they were pre- Ten Commandments. There really were no prohibitions about adultery, sleeping with your wife’s sister, raping your sister, marrying her, or getting your daughter-in-law preggers. In many ways, Jacob is still considered the biggie of the patriarchs, the patriarch to end all patriarchs, the one the godly men of today want to imitate?
“…Πορνεία in the Testaments of the Twelve Patriarchs functions, as in Sirach, as a catchall vice for any sexual transgression. “ Πορνείαhas destroyed many” (T. Reu. 4:7). Wine and beauty lead to πορνεία, and the young are particularly susceptible to its charms ( T. Jud . 14:2; T. Reu. 1:6; 4:6). Πορνεία was flexible enough to accommodate a wide range of sexual misdeeds. Reuben was guilty of πορνεία for sleeping with Bilhah, Rachel’s maid, because his father had been in the same bed ( T. Reu. 1:6). Judah was conquered by the spirit of fornication, both for taking Tamar when he thought she was a prostitute and for marrying Bathshua ( T. Jud. 13:3; 14:2, 3).Levi was encouraged to marry, while he was still young, a chaste Jewish girl, in order to avoid fornication (T. Levi9:9). Potiphar’s wife tried, but failed, to lead the virtuous Joseph into πορνεία (T. Jos. 3:8). Benjamin predicted that his heirs would“fornicate the fornication of Sodom” ( T. Benj . 9:1). Women, too, were especially vulnerable to the power of πορνεία (T. Reu. 5:3). In the testaments, πορνεία has become an inclusive sexual category denoting illicit sexual activity, including incest,prostitution, exogamy, and unchastity. 46 Issachar ends his testament by claiming, “I am 122 years of age, and I have never known a sin up to my death. Except for my wife, I never knew another woman. I have not committed πορνεία by the uplifting of my eyes” (. Iss. 7:1–2). For Jews living in a Hellenic culture that tolerated, even encouraged the sexual use of dishonored women,πορνεία was an ever-present temptation, and it became the principal vice, the “mother of all evils” (T. Sim.5:3).This sharp sensibility toward the danger of πορνεία nurtured in the world of Hellenistic Judaism, lies behind future Christian developments….”
The last example I would use for family values would be the family of Jacob. He married one woman, had the hots for her sister, slept with their other sisters while he had the hots for the women of his obsession. He basically betrayed his wife, marriage vows, and shacked up with every sister in Rachel’s family. Once he married Rachel, he still shacked up with her other sisters, except for Leah, whom he treated like dirt. When Rachel died, he did not honor Leah, but moved in with one of their other sisters, to whom he was not married.
The series concludes on Saturday.