Confessions of a Bigfoot Junkie

Dog Canyon C 2014 SJ Reidhead
Dog Canyon
C 2014
SJ Reidhead

Okay, I admit, I’m a Bigfoot junkie.  I don’t mind admitting I’m glued to that absurd Animal Planet show.  I listen to podcasts on the subject, I watch YouTube videos.  I read articles about it.  No, I’ve never seen one, and certainly don’t want to see one.  It would freak the you-know-what out of me.  I have a friend who has seen one.  She’s still quite sane.  I know people who are trying to track them.  I even know where the local ‘activity’ is.  And, yes, if I thought it would enhance the sale of my family’s 2300 acres in Alamo Canyon, I’d be paying someone to go make tracks.

Believe it or not, I’m not the one in the family who was first interested. My mother holds that honor – at least twenty years ago, before I even cared what they were.    That’s when I started paying attention to the story line. It sure beats UFOs.  It’s not the kind of thing one expects of their solid, no-nonsense, allegedly down-to-earth parent.  The first inkling I had of this interest was when we were in her yard one day, looking at a large foot print.  I swore  up and down it was made by our friendly local bear who would amble into her garage, nosh on bird-seed, come over to my house, poop on my patio, then lumber back over to their guest house, to sleep in the tree next to the front door.  (There was an infamous night when the guy renting the guest house, a local sheriff’s deputy, was required to sleep in his car all night.  Yogi was slumbering in the tree right above where he parked.)  She was positive it was ‘something else’.  I am still positive it was Yogi’s print.

In my mother’s defense, where the SC property was located is a half mile or so from an interesting BFRO daytime sighting.  I know of two other sightings within a few miles (as the crow flies) of that same area, one a good twenty-five years ago, the other just two years ago.  I am also quite well aware that there is currently quite a bit of research going on within a ten-mile radius of the property.   Going back and looking at things, the property was surrounded by a fairly thick clump of woods.  During the forty year period while they lived there, I think I only went into those woods maybe three times.  Each time, I swore up and down I heard footsteps following me.  The woods were creepy.  All along the parameter of the yard, there would be those bent saplings, and trees that had been snapped to make an “X”.   If I knew then, what I know now, I’d be totally creeped out.

There was this one infamous afternoon when I was berry picking.  The blackberries around the property were legendary they were so incredible.  I wanted blackberries.  I had brains enough to drive down to the patch, and park fairly close to it.  It wasn’t because I felt creepy about it, but because I am lazy.  I also knew Yogi might have other plans.  Well, I had filled a bucket, when Yogi (or maybe Harry) had other plans.  Something big, dark, and fuzzy began coming toward me.  Trust, me, I’ve never move so fast in my  life.  I did, though manage to keep from spilling the berries.  It was the last time I went down in the woods.  What I remember is that I found this long brown hair in my berries.  Mine was red at the time, so forget that.  It was a good eight inches long.  I tossed it, and never thought another thing about it.

I still think it was Yogi.

At least, I hope it was Yogi.

I didn’t smell anything.  There was no weird noise, nothing thrown, nothing banged, nothing threatened.  There was just something extremely pissed off because I was in the best local berry patch.

Bigfoot is fun.  It’s weird, and, when you finally get people in a certain setting, or they trust you, the stories which begin to come out are absolutely fascinating.  What you also learn is that the field is littered with crazed back-stabbers.  It’s no wonder why there’s no credibility when it comes to the possibility that the creature is a hominid.  There are the kill and no kill factions.  There are those who think the things are craze killers, and others who think they are adorable little pets like Harry of the Hendersons.

There are some who make fun of the BFRO people.  There is a tremendous amount of jealousy of the guys who have cashed in on fame an Animal Planet fortune.  (More power to ’em).  Some are frauds, and some bigfooters seem like nice people, with very good credibility.  You get the paranoid delusional guys, and the hucksters.  Some highly educated individuals appear to be nothing more than back-stabbing jerks who will do anything to stay in the public eye.  Some go for the paranormal with just insane discussions of infrasound (?), other dimensions, UFOs, aliens, shape-shifting, and cannibalism.  I’m still trying to figure out the cannibalism angle.  Do Bigfootsies eat other Bigfootsies?  I guess, if, as claimed, they are hominids, then the alleged and occasional feasting on a deer hunter or two might classify as cannibalism.

This brings us to the topic of deer hunters and killer Bigfootsies.  Who could blame them?  Deer hunters can be incredibly annoying.  Over the years, I’ve wanted to pull a few apart, limb by limb, but that was more about not keeping to promised construction deadlines, bow hunting, and pulling all-nighters to get a job finished.  I can understand why a Bigfoot might want to grab a hunter by the head and pop and splat.  But, it is in terribly poor taste – maybe literally?

According to the guys who hate the BFRO dudes, and make fun of the Animal Planet stars, Bigfoot is a hulking monster, just waiting, just sitting on the edge of everyone’s property, waiting to dismember them, chow down on their liver, eat their cats, dogs, horses, cows, chickens, and their little kids, too.  They like to snack on campers, destroy camp-sites, and then allow everything to be covered up by some great big fat government conspiracy to let them keep on keeping on murdering unsuspecting day trippers.  (I kid you not).  One allegedly infamous situation occurred last year in Texas in the Big Thicket area.  This very ‘credible’ source comes upon a camp site where things have been destroyed.  There are huge footprints, and what has obviously been mayhem and murder.  One version has the guy calling 911, which takes forever, so he takes his video.  Another version has one camper beheaded, another hanging from a tree, and someone traumatized, being put in a hospital, never to be heard from, until he could spout the government version of the crime.

Yea, there are so many holes in the story, it’s a bit like Swiss cheese.  Did the guy come on the camp before the rescue of the drooling and traumatized camper?  If so, why did he wait forever for rescue to arrive?  Why not take the guy for help?  How did he know someone had been minus a head, if he did not see the actual body?  And so forth and so on.  Let’s be honest, if you are in an area where you can get cell service, and come on something like that, a normal person not only calls the cops, but every media outlet there is, and if paranoid, sends copies of the video to just about everyone in their contact list.  No our erstwhile researcher. Instead, he was allegedly threatened with prison for going public with the story?

What about all those innocent campers who are dinner time for Bigfoot?  There are those who say David Paulides isn’t telling the whole story about all those missing people, but the man’s a retired cop, that sort of thing.  Why would he know what he was doing?  Let’s just announce this big giant Federal conspiracy that goes along with Agenda 21, the UN take-over of the country, and…. well, what else can Alex Jones and Glenn Beck dream up this week?

I will admit, I’d never even entertained the possibility that Albert Fountain and his son were slaughtered and eaten by Bigfoot.  It defies imagination and the historical record. But, there are some alleged law-enforcement experts allegedly in Otero County who think it could have happened just that way?  If so, then Dog Canyon, now part of the Oliver Lee State Park, came into the infamous Oliver Lee‘s grasp when a hungry Bigfoot killed Francois Jean Rochas ( who probably built the miracle staircase at the Loretto Chapel in Santa Fe).  Like Pat Garrett, who probably died for his theory, I too think that Oliver Lee had something to do with the death of Fountain.  I also think Lee probably slaughtered Rochas in cold blood. Lee was that kind of pioneer hero.  I live in Lincoln County.  This is all local history to us.  Oh, hell, let’s just be honest here and say that Bigfoot is the one who shot Billy the Kid!

You may think I’m making all of this up, for a nice tall tale where I’ll soon be able to work Wyatt Earp into it, but that’s not quite true.  I was listening to a podcast, where this guy, allegedly some sort of an Otero County cop, stated that people in the area think that both Frenchy and Fountain were taken out by a Bigfoot. I swear, I heard it, myself.  You need to remember this is the same bunch who make fun of the Finding Bigfoot people for yodeling, and knocking on wood. Oh, hell, maybe Billy the Kid was Bigfoot in drag.

Why one earth would anyone take this sort of papa cow excreta seriously?  Why not face the reality that those alleged campground Bigfoot slaughter sights are what they are – drug cartel kill sites.  Bigfoot and ISIS are not the only debutantes at the ball who go around beheading people.  Those nasty drug cartels along the TX-Mex border do it, on a daily basis.  Quite frankly, I’d be far more freaked if I thought that a major park well into Texas had been the scene of a truly nasty drug cartel slaughter.  I suspect it is also why we don’t know the names of the deceased or the alleged ‘survivor’.  The survivor was having difficulty, so I heard, being understood.  I wonder if he was speaking a language other than English?

Dog Canyon C 2014  SJ Reidhead
Dog Canyon
C 2014
SJ Reidhead

There’s another side of the story.  I like the work of J. C. Johnson.  After all, he’s here in New Mexico, at times.  I’ve been following his work for years.  Some of it is just plain old creepy.  After awhile, you start to figure out who is hanging with whom.  David Paulides is sharp, rational, and reasonable, as is Johnson. I guess I like the traditional Navajo tales that often end up in Johnson’s work. The dean of all things crypto is Loren Coleman and his logic and reason.

It sure beats the heck out of Dancing with the former and wanna be Stars.

If you note my photo of Dog Canyon, it is fairly easy to see why no self respecting Bigfoot would want to hang out there.  According to Johnson, in order to entertain Bigfoot one needs calories and water.  See any there?  The same holds true of the area where Albert Fountain was killed.  It is part of the White Sands Missile Range today.  At the time it was being used as range, but still, let’s be reasonable here.  It should be noted that on the other side of Dog Canyon, heading toward Cloudcroft are incredible forests full of deer.  There are interesting tales, today, about Bigfoot in the area.

I’ve recently learned that on Highway 70, nearing the Apache Summit, there are  regular sightings. That makes sense.  But, once again, there’s nothing exciting about it, other than an occasional Bigfoot playing chicken and dashing out in front of cars.  It happened to someone I know.  She pulled over to grab her camera, but by then it was too late.  Her daughter also saw it.

Like I said, I do not want to see one!