The Crying Game


Screen Shot 2016-01-19 at 9.59.47 PMRule of thumb:  Real men and Vulcans do not show emotion in public.  It is acceptable, though for them to like cats.  We were raised not to cry in public.  I never saw my father or my grandfather Froehlich shed a tear.

Until Bill Clinton began to shed a tear to show how he felt someone’s pain, it was not good form for a man to cry in public.  Men were taught to have a stiff upper lip and never show emotion in public.  A man who showed too much emotion either joy or unhappiness was looked down upon.  Only children cried in public.  A lady could wipe away a tear, but a gentleman who shed a tear was ridiculed.  In fact, something like 81% of all men will NEVER shed a tear in public.

Even a woman who cries in public is considered fair game, especially if she is at work.  People make fun of us.  I was reading that the only truly acceptable reason for a man to now cry in public is when the Cubbies finally win the World Series.  It’s one thing when it is compassion, like the photo of George W. Bush holding the child who had lost a parent, but for Barack Obama to shed a tear when discussing gun violence is disgusting.

Evidently, according to some, the fact that Donald Trump says he rarely cries is a now considered a character defect.  I find it interesting because Trump is a Scotsman.  Unless you have a goodly amount of Scotch in  your veins (pun intended) you don’t understand that the most emotional man in the world is the Scot.  He makes an Italian look Stoic.  But, the other part of it is a real Scotsman doesn’t allow anyone to know how emotional he is.  A true Scotsman is nothing but pure mush surrounded by a shell of stainless steel.  They are pure sentimental emotionalism, but will never allow that emotion to be seen.  That’s why a typical Scotsman is so ‘gruff’.  It’s fake.

I don’t want to be around a weepy male.  I don’t want to be around a weepy female, either.  And yes, I cry when I get mad. It is one reason I do not allow myself to get mad in public. What is so fascinating is how the media will criticize a woman in politics who cries, making fun of their weakness, but have no problem with men crying.  I thought the sight of Barack Obama crying over the gun control speech was disgusting, but had no problem with him wiping a tear when Aretha Franklin rocked the house a few weeks ago.

“…The one-time myth that grown men don’t cry has been broken by the many recorded instances of public tears. Big boys as well as heroes cry. Theodore Roosevelt was seen to cry in public, and Jeffrey Kotter quotes other US presidents who have done the same, including Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton, and even George Bush, senior. The famous baseball player Babe Ruth cried when he announced that he had cancer, and the boxer Floyd Patterson did so after losing a fight to Muhammad Ali. Male watersheds in the movies include Marlon Brando in “A Streetcar Named Desire,” Tom Cruise in “Magnolia,” Russell Crowe in “Gladiator,” Leonardo DiCaprio in “Catch Me If You Can,” George Lazenby in “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service,” and the great heart-throb James Dean in “Rebel without a Cause,” in his case with no apparent cause—just a troubled soul in an indifferent world. John Wayne is said to have jibed that he would cry for his horse, his dog, or a friend, but never for a woman. Male tears shed in public are perhaps more common nowadays than in previous generations….”

I don’t cry at sad movies, because I don’t go to them.  I do stupid.  I cried when the Enterprise 1701 blew up as it entered the atmosphere on the Genesis Planet.  I still cry over the Challenger explosion.  I cry over beautiful music.  I did not cry when my father died.  I did not cry at my grandfather’s funeral, nor my father’s.  I do cry over Hall of Fame announcements and inductions.  I avoid church on Easter Sunday because of my favorite hymn:  Jesus Christ Is Risen Today.  That’s when I cry for my grandparents.  I associate it with them, going to church with them, and lost loved ones.

I absolutely lost it over this moment. I still tear up when I watch it.

To put it into perspective, if Dmitri Hvorostovsky did not cry at this moment, and he’d been through hell, the why on earth would Barack Obama cry over gun control?  I cried.  I’m a woman, and a baritone junkie.  But, he did not shed a tear. Vulcan, or manly?  Well, you be the judge.  Just don’t damn a man because he isn’t a cry-baby.

I also cry over this.

I cry every time I hear it. I am a total and complete Anglophile.