The Tragedy of Sandra Bland


DSC03799The officer who stopped Sandra Bland has been fired.  That’s sad.  Of all the tragic deaths of young people the past few years, her death bothers me the most.  I still don’t think we can blame the cops.  If anyone is to blame it is her family, and that is what is so tragic.  Her mother still refuses to accept any culpability in the events surrounding it.  I will always think, given to the recent history of traffic problems the young woman was having, her mother decided to play tough love, and refused to help her.

Sandra Bland was cutting herself.  She had spent a week with her mother, on vacation, yet, apparently, her mother ignored it.  When someone is cutting themselves, it is a primordial cry for help.  She was obviously not dealing with a miscarriage. She had numerous traffic offenses and had lost her license at one time.  The traffic offenses appear to be directly related to the problems after losing her child.

“…As for suicide, I suspect that is exactly what happened. Anyone who was cutting themselves was at risk. Did her mother not know about it? I know someone who went through the same thing with a child, including jail time. How she handled things was far different from what we see here. It is so much easier to scream racism than look in a mirror and take blame.

This is not a simple tale. To scream and yell racism is helping no one. I don’t know if the arrest was racist. What I do know is, now that we are aware of the young woman’s 10 year history of traffic violations and arrest records, I can understand the cop’s attitude. But – he violated so many rules, including not calling for help. I’m wondering if we can assume that he smelled marijuana in the car? We’re not talking Colorado. Bland was combative. It is fascinating how her traffic violations are bunched together. This could so easily be explained if she were bi-polar. If so, did her family not know? If they knew, why are they lying about it? If they did not know, then that’s just as bad.

The young woman left a trail of tears on FB. She was despondent. She’d lost a baby, and obviously had a problem with it. I’m wondering if the traffic violations happened after the miscarriage. If so, didn’t her family give a damn? Was she targeted for her activism? Frankly I don’t think the arresting officer was that bright.

I was listening to a psychologist on CNN, who obviously had only superficial facts. I think Sandra Bland was a spoiled, rich brat, who was also a pot-head. Where is the 2013 Cadillac she was driving a year ago? Did her mother decide to let her spend the weekend in jail for tough love, and Sandra decided to stage a suicide attempt, which was, unfortunately successful?

The psychologist on CNN said there was no reason for a young woman who had just landed her dream job to be upset. Her tears and anxiety were that she wanted her future, not about suicide.

Yes, the woman was that stupid.

A young woman with a history of marijuana abuse, DUI, traffic tickets, and one arrest warrant is arrested and spends the weekend in jail, for assaulting a cop. Bye bye job. She hadn’t had her first day on the job. She probably would have been on probation. Probation would allow no quarter for what had just happened to her. Add to the fact that, for once, she hadn’t done anything all that wrong, and she had been put in a position where not only was her dream job history, but she would have faced a bleak employment picture. The cutting is indicative of someone who feels she has no control of her life.

If you can’t cry for this woman, you don’t have a heart. Her life was so tragic. Let’s be honest. She sewed the seeds of her own destruction. I’ve seen so many Sandra Blands in my lifetime, I just keep hoping the insanity will end, but it never does. I don’t know if the actions of a really bad cop were racist. They were uncalled for. It destroyed the life of a young woman who had so much promise…”

This young woman needed help.  She did not receive it at home.  So, now her mother, who is a fairly well off real estate agent, is going around pretending to be this devastated mother of a child murdered by cops, while black.  Yes, it’s being terribly nasty, but her mother needs to look in the mirror.  Her daughter was crying out for help, and, apparently, she did nothing.  If her daughter had been a minor, she could be held responsible for neglect.

Sandra Bland did not need to die.

Don’t blame the cops for this one.  Her family is responsible.  I hurt for that poor young woman.  No one loved her enough to get help for her.  They let her die.  The are do damn dishonest about it, they will never be able to get a decent diagnosis on what was wrong with her.  I know so many parents of trouble young people, and the things they did to help them.  This one disgusts me.  It saddens me.

I guess it’s better to have a dead martyr than a child who is going to need help, perhaps much of her life. I swear there needs to be a special place in hell for parents like this.  They killed her as dead as if they had put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger.  And – now they play the grieving family.

Pardon my disgust.

What kind of mother does not notice that their daughter is cutting herself?