This has been a rough week. While I can’t say that it has been the worst week of my life, it’s up there in the Top Ten. It has been miserable. I’ve spent a heck of a lot of time crying, then being outraged. My sleep total, since last Saturday is maybe twelve hours. That’s not a lot, considering it’s now Friday evening and I should have had at least fifty hours.
I’ve gone from being despondent to truly pissed with God. I stay that way. Then, I gave up, for awhile. I was outraged, furious, and ready to rant and rave. The bottom line is I’m going to be losing my home to the foibles of an out of control Home Owner’s Association. In this world, there are those who handle adversity with grace and poise, then there are people like me who lose their mind, run in circles, screaming and shouting. I’ve done a heck of a lot of that.
My cousin, Linda, called while I was doing the hysterical thing. She reminded me that the Lord works in strange ways. Perhaps I should be moving out of the condo and this is the Lord’s way of blasting me out of it.
Not what I wanted to hear….
Unfortunately, this week, I’ve come to the same conclusion. It’s not easy. I can’t afford to move. I can’t afford the gas, the boxes, the tissue, and help moving. I certainly can’t do it myself. I need a good thousand bucks to get the garage door on my mother’s house fixed before I even begin much of the process. I need money for gas, oil, and some sort of a patron saint for a car falling apart.
Things are always tight. The forester advanced me $2500 to pay the taxes on property my mother owns in South Carolina. There are seven lots, all of which now have a tax lien on them. The taxes have bone up a good thousand dollars in the past few years. I am six hundred dollars short. I paid everything for five of the seven lots, but still need to pay the other two parcels. I could have taken the money and bailed out a quarter of what I owe on the condo dues, but that was my mother’s money and her property. The die is now literally cast. I’ve sealed the fat on my home. That did not help my mood, trust me.
Now, I’m trying to decide what I can keep and what I need to sell. It is terribly frustrating because, if I loved elsewhere, I could easily raise the money to pay off the condo fees. But, I live where I live, and we are not only in an economic depression, but people who come in for the summer delight in cheating the little people who live here. I can’t keep quite a bit of my furniture, so it must be sold – for almost nothing. And, no, it isn’t right. I like my cruddy furniture. Most of it is distressed and I did the work myself.
The week managed to get worse from there.
On Thursday, things were terrible.
I spend a lot of time on Twitter.
The loves of my life are baseball, space, and opera (especially my baritones). I like science and have managed to get into following a bunch of tagged sharks. (Don’t even bother asking. There is no logical explanation.) Long story short, I heard from someone on Twitter. In the long run, it would not be important to 99.98% of people on the planet, but for me, it was a miracle. Of all the people in all the world I would love to communicate with, this would be that one person.
Not only that, but today the new Star Trek move, Star Trek Beyond was finally released. Alright already yet, I’m an original Trekkie. With one exception, I’ve seen every move that first day. For ST: The Motion Picture, my friend Kay and I stood in line for well over two hours, in the cold, in Atlanta. It was Star Trek, but very disappointing. This time, though, it was the ‘episode’ I’ve been waiting to see, my entire adult life.
There I was, dealing with two important parts of my life. Sure, it’s indicative that I don’t have much of a life, but that’s okay. It was like a sign from God! Then, I get a message from Kelly, telling me it was God hugging me!
Thanks, God, I needed that. All I could think about ere the last two lines of my favorite section of Robert Browning’s Pippa Passes.
The year’s at the spring
And day’s at the morn;
Morning’s at seven;
The hillside’s dew-pearled;
The lark’s on the wing;
The snail’s on the thorn:
God’s in His heaven—
All’s right with the world!
God’s in His heaven, All’s right with the world! I can easily move, knowing that God is in His heaven. I just needed that little hug. My mother has been telling me that the Lord is going to take care of everything, even better than we can imagine. I don’t mind admitting I’ve lost my faith and my way.
Then, God hugged me.
He took care of it in a most spectacular way. No, it wouldn’t be important to anyone else, but the Tweet was worth more to me than a million dollars, and I’m completely broke. It was that important. The Lord is in charge. I just need to let Him be in charge, and sit back and enjoy the show.
The punch line is that my cousin may be right. Two weeks ago a young junkie was either murdered or died of a heroin overdose. He lived in a unit about a block from me. The story is that he and another junkie were sitting in back of his unit, doing heroin. He allegedly fell into a ditch, where he died. They did not find the body for ten days.
You think I’m going to live here, now?
My entire sense of security has been disturbed.
God’s in His heaven.
Copyright 2016 by SJ Reidhead, Not available for reuse in any form.