Understanding the Other Person


Screen Shot 2016-03-20 at 9.42.28 AMI had an interesting thing that occurred the past few weeks. After locating a person who is doing lawns, on FB, he put in a basic bid to do the yard, which was a mess.  He did a great job.  My problem is quite simple.  Am I being set up to be taken to the cleaner, or dealing with someone who needs the money.  I’m not sure and it could go either way.  During the process, I had to very carefully explain that I am on an extremely limited budget and must account for every penny.  I hired them to do a project, which ended up going about $200 over budget.  That’s a heck of a lot of money for me, enough to pay for half the paint I need. Because of costs, I’ve had to cut way back on what I want to do.  It happens, I guess.

The contractors were heading out of town – aren’t they all.  What was to be done next week, was accomplished, partially, last week, at the last minute.  I don’t mind that, but I wasn’t planning on an additional labor charge of $200, especially when I was told the second person would cut the time in half.  Well, forget that.  I will also admit that it is my fault the project hasn’t been completed.

Anyone who knows me knows that if I’m pushed, I balk like a mule.  By Monday, when I made the statement that my hours did not include mornings, well, someone needed to let them in, to finish their work.  Wait, I’m paying them. I’ve tried to make it clear, because of what I do, I basically don’t do mornings.  I’m currently not sleeping all that much, primarily due to stress.  When you’re stressed to the breaking point, and getting no sleep, the more pushing you do, the worse it gets.

Wednesday, I could not get down to the house until after 1PM.  That did not suit them.  I was also not feeling well, not at all. The previous evening, when it was suggested that the yard be finished, I told the guy I couldn’t afford it, not right now.  He said I could pay him later.  I was quite honest.  Bills add up, quickly.  I don’t want to owe more than necessary.

I haven’t heard from them.

Yesterday evening, I emailed, explaining the situation.  I have a tendency to write nights, lately.  Maybe my problem is the fact that I’m very selfish with my time.  I explained my situation.  Let’s deal with reality.  I’m going to be quite busy the next couple of weeks.  And, yes, I’m being selfish.  I’ve spent the past 7 years of my  life not being selfish.  I’ve basically given up almost everything, for family.  I’ve decided I need to take care of number one.

That is not going over.  I told my mother what I’d done.  She accused me of being rude and selfish.  Why am I being rude and selfish?  Don’t I have rights? It is strange how we look at things.  I called her back, asking, after I told her it wasn’t very nice, why shouldn’t my requirements my needs come first.

It has dawned on me, that this process of putting myself first, and looking after me, is going to be difficult.