We all do it. I know I’m certainly guilty of disappointing people. I’m especially guilty of it, lately. Fact is, I’ve been a down-right needy bitch. I don’t like people who act the way I’ve acted. People have made excuses for me. I’m allowed it.
My life is a disorganized mess.
I don’t handle clutter and disorganization very well. It makes me crazy, and I’ve been acting like a crazed jerk. I did something that truly disappointed a person who has been very kind. We all have our limitations and I know my limits. Okay, I’m a control junkie. When control has been removed from a control junkie, we are crazed jerks.
What I did, I had to do. It was something I did not want to do but it was necessary. This person helped me with the problem, and I suspect it has hurt her. It wasn’t anything bad. It was just a part of life than had to be what it was.
No, my conscience doesn’t bother me. I just wish I weren’t such a total bitch, at times. But – you know, I am what I am, and it isn’t good. No, it isn’t bad. My life is in total chaos. I don’t know where I will be a year from now. Heck, I don’t even know where I will be six months from now.
I feel like I’ve hurt people. I’ve disappointed them. I need to get certain things accomplished and am running out of money – which is nothing new. The Lord will sustain. He always does.