I Know How You Feel

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Psalm 107
Thanksgiving for Deliverance from Many Troubles

1 O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
for his steadfast love endures for ever.
2 Let the redeemed of the Lord say so,
those he redeemed from trouble
3 and gathered in from the lands,
from the east and from the west,
from the north and from the south.

4 Some wandered in desert wastes,
finding no way to an inhabited town;
5 hungry and thirsty,
their soul fainted within them.
6 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress;
7 he led them by a straight way,
until they reached an inhabited town.
8 Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love,
for his wonderful works to humankind.
9 For he satisfies the thirsty,
and the hungry he fills with good things.

10 Some sat in darkness and in gloom,
prisoners in misery and in irons,
11 for they had rebelled against the words of God,
and spurned the counsel of the Most High.
12 Their hearts were bowed down with hard labour;
they fell down, with no one to help.
13 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress;
14 he brought them out of darkness and gloom,
and broke their bonds asunder.
15 Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love,
for his wonderful works to humankind.
16 For he shatters the doors of bronze,
and cuts in two the bars of iron.

17 Some were sick through their sinful ways,
and because of their iniquities endured affliction;
18 they loathed any kind of food,
and they drew near to the gates of death.
19 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress;
20 he sent out his word and healed them,
and delivered them from destruction.
21 Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love,
for his wonderful works to humankind.
22 And let them offer thanksgiving sacrifices,
and tell of his deeds with songs of joy.

23 Some went down to the sea in ships,
doing business on the mighty waters;
24 they saw the deeds of the Lord,
his wondrous works in the deep.
25 For he commanded and raised the stormy wind,
which lifted up the waves of the sea.
26 They mounted up to heaven, they went down to the depths;
their courage melted away in their calamity;
27 they reeled and staggered like drunkards,
and were at their wits’ end.
28 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
and he brought them out from their distress;
29 he made the storm be still,
and the waves of the sea were hushed.
30 Then they were glad because they had quiet,
and he brought them to their desired haven.
31 Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love,
for his wonderful works to humankind.
32 Let them extol him in the congregation of the people,
and praise him in the assembly of the elders.

33 He turns rivers into a desert,
springs of water into thirsty ground,
34 a fruitful land into a salty waste,
because of the wickedness of its inhabitants.
35 He turns a desert into pools of water,
a parched land into springs of water.
36 And there he lets the hungry live,
and they establish a town to live in;
37 they sow fields, and plant vineyards,
and get a fruitful yield.
38 By his blessing they multiply greatly,
and he does not let their cattle decrease.

39 When they are diminished and brought low
through oppression, trouble, and sorrow,
40 he pours contempt on princes
and makes them wander in trackless wastes;
41 but he raises up the needy out of distress,
and makes their families like flocks.
42 The upright see it and are glad;
and all wickedness stops its mouth.
43 Let those who are wise give heed to these things,
and consider the steadfast love of the Lord.

“I know how you feel.”

Over the years, when I would deal with heartache and trauma, then cry out to the Lord, demanding to know “why me”, as do we all, my mother would tell me there was a reason.  To her, that reason was always the ability to later be able to tell someone ‘I know how you feel.’

After an incident, 25 years ago, I realized she was right.  Then, on Sunday, something happened that completely reinforced her philosophy. I’ve never hid the fact that the past eight years have been one financial trauma and disaster after another.  The latest, for me, is the fact that this brown recluse bite on my leg has literally broken me, physically and financially.  I can’t even finish unpacking the things for my house.  And – I can only afford about 10 additional hours of help.  I can’t afford that.  I’m down to about $400 for the remainder of the month.  That will not pay my bills. It is a very frustrating situation.  The money is out there, I just can’t access it until we sell some land.  In this day and age, after the Obama Administration literally destroyed the value of land, it is very difficult.  Thanks to Elizabeth Warren and her draconian banking regulations, I can’t even borrow on what we own.

It is frustrating, to say the least.  The stress is starting to truly get to me. I’ve had about 14 hours sleep since last Tuesday, and four of those hours were on Monday.  Monday morning I woke up about 6AM with tachycardia to the point where I would have gone to the ER if I’d had insurance.  I have none.  I have no one here to even help me get to the ER.  So, I called a friend and asked her to pray. I talked to my sister.  As we talked, I started feeling better.  I realized I was not only exhausted, but extremely dehydrated.  I’ve already been told, during two ER visits years ago, I am one of those people who can have a heart attack if I am dehydrated and have not consumed enough salt.  An hour later, after  consuming a very large glass of ice tea with lemonade mix, the tachycardia went away, telling me it was not a heart attack.

I know how you feel.

On Sunday, I heard from a friend.  He wrote that he knew I would not  understand how frustrating his life has been these past few years.  He has a child in dire need of medical assistance.  His stress level has hospitalized him.  On paper he is worth millions.  But – it is tied up in court.  “I’m worth anywhere between X million, but can’t afford to get the car fixed or deal with medical issues.”  He did not expect me to understand.  I immediately responded that I know exactly how he feels.

It was a moment of healing and triumph for me, spiritually.  I have survived (thus far). I’m not sure how I’m going to make it past the next week or so, but I will.  The Lord has yet to let me down, financially.  It might be nerve wracking, but I think maybe I’ve finally learned that He does endure.

I was telling this to a friend. She is reading a book based on Psalm 107 – His Steadfast Love Endures Forever.

Damn!

There are reasons for what happens in life.  And no, God does not cause bad things to happen.  They just do.  The Lord is there to help us endure and pick up the pieces.  He is there to sustain us and, when we allow it, produce miracles.  It has dawned on me that I’m sick and tired of telling Him what to do. No, I’m not stupid and I know we just don’t sit there, waiting for money to appear in the checking account. If things were to go right, for me, I should have money coming in, any time, but there are times when it just doesn’t work that way.

His steadfast love does endure forever. I’m finally starting to realize that faith is an adventure, not for the faint of heart.  It was designed to take the faint of heart and give us the heart of a lion.  Is that what C. S. Lewis was trying to tell us?

 

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