On Friday evening I noticed a FB post from a local woman, asking where she could go and get free school supplies for her children.  She needed to start lining things up – early.  It’s the end of June.  She has a few weeks.  The poor woman has a full-time job.  So does her husband.  She wants something for nothing.  There are kids who truly need help.  But – we have so accustomed our society to get everything for nothing, no one castigated her.  To even mention how wrong she was, would be to bring the wrath of the bleeding hearts upon me.

I’m sick of it.

I’m tired of listening to liberals scream, yell, and cry over health care, demanding everyone who is in poverty be given free health care.  Oh, they cry, the GOP plan could cause twenty million people to lose their health insurance.  Guess what, the ACA caused fifteen million of us to lose ours and I’m one of them.  No matter that people are going to be grandfathered in, so that they can’t lose their Medicaid.  They just want more – and more.

Even worse, it is expected of you.  I asked someone, a good Episcopalian I had become friends with, online, to pray for me.  We began a discussion about my problems.  She provided a list of places I could go for public assistance.  When I told her I did not believe in public assistance, she eventually dropped me as a ‘friend’.  The bottom line is there is something terribly wrong with a person who refuses to allow the government to assist them.

I have been told that hard times should make me more compassionate as a person.  It has.  It has also made me very hard.  I have lived, the past 3 years, on basically about $6500 a year, with some give and take with investments, but never more than $10,000 a year.  Do you know how a person lives on that?  There are no movies, no entertainments.  You don’t go out, nor to parties.  My vice is/was two bags of ice from Sonic, each week.  You don’t have money for any sort of extra.  I haven’t had a pair of new shoes in five years.  I did without everything but the basic necessities, including no health care or insurance.

You eat a lot of beans and rice. I went for two years without eating a piece of beef.  I’ve not had a real hamburger in a year.  I would allow myself chicken once every two months.  For a year I was without a working hot water heater.  I had two busted toilets and could not afford a plumber, so I was required to turn them on-off at the the cut-off valve.  For two years I had no oven. The lights in my one working bathroom shorted out and I could not afford an electrician.  There were no lunches – out, nor dinner with friends.

If you don’t have money, people don’t want to be your friend.  I did not even have the money to help bury my father.  I drove around with his ashes in the trunk of the car until my sister took them to Memphis.  We still can’t afford a permanent location for my parents.  Oh, and don’t expect kindness.  If you are broke, there is something wrong, so it is a character flaw.

I left the condo once a week.  I did not drive.  I have left the Ruidoso area once.  There are no trips or vacations.  I could finally afford new unmentionables about six weeks ago.  I did not use my make-up because I did not want to run out of stuff.

With the exception of a problem with my condo HOA fees (long story) due primarily to the ever increasing PNM electrical rates, I did not go into debt.  I’m quite proud of that.  If you don’t have money, you don’t spend it.  You learn to do without, period.  The only exception for asking for assistance, was to borrow money from a friend to pay a couple power bills.  Because I owned my own home, and a few other things, I qualified for absolutely nothing.  I still don’t.

There is a difference if you have children.  I do not. I was on my own.  It taught me a heck of a lot.  I learned not to rely on anyone.  I learned that people lie.  They will cheat when possible, and never expect even a so-called ‘Christian’ business person to follow a contract or do what they say they are going to do.

Things are starting to improve – I hope.  The past two months I’ve sold my condo for practically nothing.  I’m living in the parents’ home, which is scheduled to be foreclosed in December if we cannot find a buyer.  We are waiting for a piece of property to close so I can find a place to live.   If not, I’m on the street in six months.

I have not asked for help.  I don’t expect the long-suffering taxpayer to fork over what they have to make my life better.  It’s my problem.  Not theirs. I resent those who say Christians cannot allow others to live in poverty – they must give up what they have to help others.  No one has helped me.  I don’t expect it.  I chose to give up everything to spend nearly a decade of my life caring for my elderly parents.  It was no one’s fault my father contracted Alzheimer’s.  It’s life.  Only a fool would blame society and expect to be compensated for it.

You help yourself.  Unfortunately, as our society becomes more and more Marxist and socialist, there is something almost obscene about helping one’s self.  Wealth must be redistributed.  We aren’t good Christians, according to leftist self-righteous preaching, unless we become a servant like Christ.  One only finds happiness and relief from trauma and unhappiness when becoming a servant.  We’re told it is not good to be sad, and to worry.   There is something deficient in character if we do not turn our problems into some sort of one-stop self-help shopping mall for socialism.  I don’t know any other way to explain it.

It is acceptable for those who are of the lower classes to demand and receive help, constant help from cradle to the grave.  For those of us who were once upper class, and now living in poverty, thanks to Obama’s economic disasters, we’re to give up the rest of what we have, and find fulfillment in handing everything over – gladly, to those less fortunate.  Because Christ lived a nomadic life, we are to get rid of what we have, at a loss, and thank the world for kicking us while we are down, because we can now help others.  But – if one is an inhabitant of the welfare state, they are not required to better themselves.  They aren’t required to help others.  All they need to do is cry ‘I want I want I need I need’, and we are expected to fulfill their every desire.

Sorry, but I’ve been down at the bottom of life.  I know what it is like to wonder if I needed to go to the food bank to help my elderly parents.  I decided I would rather choose suicide instead of asking for help.  When I mentioned that to someone who was telling me how to look for community assistance they were horrified. I also mentioned I was, at one time, the contact person for our parish.  I knew where to go, but I would rather rot than ask for help.

And – yes, I expect people to help themselves.  I chose not to participate in this mass hysteria for helping the able-bodied refugees who would force us, at the point of a gun, to give up our freedom so they can have their way.  I have tremendous compassion for the plight of those who are here illegally, but if you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime. And, I’m not going to feel guilt.  I’ve been so low, there was no way of getting up, other than wallowing through the mud.  I chose not to delve into illegal substances, adult beverages, or ruin my life by sleeping with every Tom, Dick and Harry.  Just because a person is broke is no reason for them to live like abject trash.

You don’t go out partying, slutting, gambling, and having one kid after another. Have some pride. Poverty is difficult.  Just to survive it is a full-time job.  It reboots your brain.  It is exhausting.  The constant rejection leaves your life more like an open sore than a callous.  My clothes and shoes may be out of style.  I don’t care.  Louis Vuitton is never out of style, even when it is thirty years old.  A good Bottega only gains value.  I am absolutely convinced poverty is an attitude.  No, I never hit rock bottom.  With the Lord’s help, I won’t.

Why are we the little people and taxpayer required to subvert our needs in order to fund the lifestyle of impoverished individuals who are there, not by misfortune, but by life choices, dependencies, addiction, derelict behavior, and the inability to refrain from being a slut?  If I have no compassion, well, I have none.  Christ said the poor we will have with us – always.  We need to help people.  We need to be there for those who truly require help.  But, if you think I’m going to even give the woman who has a full-time job a spare pencil she could afford, forget it.

I’m not that stupid.  Please don’t try your liberal, ‘Christian’ guilt on me.  It doesn’t work.  If that shows a lack of compassion, tough.  It does not make me a bad Christian.  I’m not a bad person because I think that people should do things for themselves.  We should not depend on others or the government for anything other than infrastructure and law enforcement. If you can’t afford your insurance, then tough.  Instead of voting for a liberal, try voting for someone who wants to solve the problem, by logic and reason, not by redistribution of wealth.  If you want to do that, go live in Venezuela.  See how long that will last.

While we’re on the subject of liberals, have you noticed how hysterical they get when they assume health insurance is going to be taken away from certain status groups.  It doesn’t matter about those of us who had good insurance, and now have none.  It doesn’t matter if prices are going up, astronomically.  All that matters is pandering to certain voting groups.  What they ignore is the fact that, as required by law, if you have no insurance, and are hopped up on cocaine, and ten months pregnant, delivering a crack baby that is going to cost a million bucks the first four months of its life, well, if you don’t have the money, we the little people pay for it by astronomical hospital bills.  Then, someone like me, who has no insurance, and has something to lose, will go to the ER.  If we can’t afford to pay our well-padded ten thousand dollar bill for a twisted toe nail, we lose everything we have.

Please, don’t tell me life is not fair if you are a certain demographic.  Just don’t expect me to help.  I will, though help little kids, teens, the homeless, and vets.

One other little thing – have you noticed liberals scream and yell about ‘women’s health’.  That’s a buzz word for free abortions.  They don’t give a damn about anything but free abortions.  You never hear liberals demanding over the counter contraceptives.  Nope, never.  They just need women’s health.  Free health care is all about free abortions and the freedom to murder as many babies as a slut needs to kill.