I need some help and don’t know where to start. First, I have no insurance and no access to anything medical. I can’t afford it. Since moving into this house, the past 50 weeks, I’ve gone from a vital person to a nothing. I’ve reached the point where I’m so weak I can barely walk from one end of the house to the other.. I’m exhausted.

I need someone to help me, and can’t afford it. With one or two exceptions, where I’m now living, kindness is at a premium and costs big bucks. It is difficult trusting people because of the situation with drugs and alcohol.

I’ve not had a real meal, something I’ve wanted to eat, since Dec 18. There is no delivery. I’m too weak to even bother with take-out. I’m so hungry I’m ill. I’ve spent way too much money on food to prep, and feel so bad, I can’t even bother with it. I tried Hello Fresh this week, and ended up giving it away.

I’m dehydrated.
The cough isn’t bad, but my back hurts.
I’m not passing blood or bleeding.
I am nauseous.
The only tachycardia is when I’m dehydrated.
The exhaustion is debilitating.
I’m too tired to even get dressed and to drive to SV for take-out. Doesn’t matter, when I get it home, I’m too tired to eat.
Yes, I have food in the house, but don’t feel like eating.
I’m so weak, I can’t even brush my hair, let alone put on make-up.

First, I’m not depressed. I’m not suffering from depression. I’m tired. I’m a wreck because I’m so tired. I’m not begging for attention. I don’t want any. Any sense of depression is simply situational based on my basic selfish needs of the moment.

Cathy wants me to to to Memphis for awhile, but I don’t want to do that. I can’t trust anyone with the cats or house.

I’m very frustrated. For the first time in my life I’m not eating to the point where Cathy is on my case about it. I was watching an episode of Dr. Phil last night and realized I’ve almost passed go not eating, and almost manipulating what I’m not eating, simply beasuse I’m too tired. I don’t even have the strength to stand up in the shower. Even fixing a basic piece of toast is such an effort, I don’t bother.

I’m afraid.

For ten years I dedicated my life to taking care of my parents. Because of the situation, there is no way I can get any kind of care unless I’m in Memphis. I don’t want to leave my new home, but there is no one to bother caring for me. I need someone to help me for awhile.

I’m so hungry.

I want a fried chicken sandwich on a real bun so I can dump buffalo sauce on it.